My clever sister and unsuspecting dad

My sister had maths exam the next day and wanted dad to come early so he could tutor her for the exam.

My dad was busy in an office meeting.

She called him from her cell phone.

No answer.

From mine and mother’s cell phone.

No answer.

From the land line.

No answer.

 She went to my grandma’s room. She stealthily picked up her phone while she was reading a religious book and called my dad.

Seeing my grandma’s number on cell phone my dad picked it up at the first ring and said anxiously, “Yes amma?” She knew my dad would yield only to gandma.

My sister imitated my grandma’s voice and said,” Come fast son! I can't find my diabetes tablets.”

My father sensing mischief laughed heartily in the middle of the meeting. He concluded it early and arrived home.

World's best dahi puri!

I used to love Dahi puri at Kadamba restaurant, Basaveshwarnagar (B’lore). Four times a week, I would go there after college and relish on this chat. I would closely watch the chatwala while he prepared this chat. The hygiene standards of Kadamba are good unlike at the road-side vendor’s.  He uses larger than mouth sized gol-gappas and I love the challenge of gorging on them without spilling the masala pani. The stuffing is made of moong dal sprouts, mashed potatoes and thick curd. The curd they use here is not sweet unlike the ones I tried elsewhere. It is spicy, sour and tangy. Then he garnishes with sev, coriander, beetroot and carrot shavings.

I know all the ingredients which goes inside this and tried to replicate a few times. But it could not match the taste of his dahi puris. May be he uses a secret ingredient. You know, kind of just like blood. We know all the components making up this essence of life, but no scientist could create it artificially. Clever analogy, isn't it?

After spending a month in my hometown during summer holidays, I eagerly went to Kadamba the earliest after coming to Bangalore. The dahi puri I had this time didn’t taste at all like the one before. The curd was sweet. As told by the waiters there, I learnt that my favourite chatwala went back to his village and would never return. My search for the perfect dahi puri continued but I was disappointed everytime. 

The center of an entrance exam was at VV puram, which is far from the place I live. On the morning of the exam, I seriously considered skipping it.  But then, I went and attempted it anyway. After the exam, I went to Dosa mane nearby, which is famous for 100 varieties of dosas. The masala dosa was not as good as  expected. I saw a man in the chat counter and I did a double-take. It was my favourite chatwala! I was thrilled at my discovery. He was happy to know that I missed his dahi-puris. We chatted for a while and he told me that he came to Dosa mane as the pay was better and it was closer to his home.  I gorged on till my stomach ached! I thought I could never eat the dahi puris made by my favourite chatwala again. If not for the exam (which went really bad) I would never have come to VV puram. I was happy to be united with the world’s best dahi-puri! And I know where exactly to head to for evening snacks!

The wedding woes

My parents could not wait to get rid of me see me settled in the name of marriage. The constant nag of my parents made me break down like the soggy-runny-dal in the pressure cooker that they prepare in my hostel mess and I finally gave them a green signal to hunt down for prospective grooms.

But they are having a hard time in the matrimonial search as I set my preferences sky-high, that they are impossible to be possessed by any one ordinary man. Only a vampire like Edward or a Greek God like Hercules might fit the bill. The longer I delay, the longer I can enjoy my single-hood and freedom.

My father pesters me to learn devotional songs and cook culinary dishes and be ready to showcase my prowess of complete home management plus entertainment package, to the groom’s family on the day of 'match-seeing'. Seriously, if the groom wants to listen to music, why can’t he buy a damn I-pod like I did? My dad is asking me to watch my weight and skip sweets till marriage. Even after having an account for six months in Bharathmatrimony.com I couldn't finalize on a match. My dad was cross at me saying registering there is nothing but a waste of money if I won’t relax my criteria and paid cash again to renew the account for another six months.

My mother spread the word like fire in our apartment, among her friends and our relatives. So all of them, milkman and watchman included, constantly ask her when they will be able to hear the wedding bells. She told the milkman to be ready with extra supply of milk as any day I might get married. Aunties who come to our home don’t leave without suggesting suitable boys they know, like of their sister’s brother-in-law’s cousin’s neighbour’s friend’s son. The hot topic of conversation for my mother to talk on phone is my marriage. She doesn't end the call without asking to suggest well-educated boys from good background and the person at the other end comes up with two or three boys about whom she jots down in her special ‘prospective matches book’. Oh yes! She is specially maintaining a book for noting down the bio-data of grooms.  Near and dear ones enquire my mom about good news if any and my mom looks at me and sighs with a long face. I am sure all our relatives are beginning to wonder if I am a cursed spinster whose horoscope has doshas  and shanis as they call us to offer suggestions to perform graha-shanthi -poojas  and sympathetically offer advice that groom-hunt is a pious mission and that it will take atleast an year to finalize the match. I have begun to avoid relatives like plague.

Even the priest in the temple near-by knows that I have reached a marriageable age and he advised my mother to do Swarna Gauri Vratam which is supposed to confer heaven’s blessings to marry me off sooner without any obstacles.

Once or twice some nice guys did come my way.

Education, job, salary-Check.  Looks,height,complexion-Check.

Caste, sub-caste-Check.  Gothra, Nakshatra, Rasi- Check.

Family background- Check.  Computer horoscope compatibility-Check.

The profile of one guy did manage to successfully cross all these filters. But then, there was another mega filter. My mother took the horoscope of that boy to an astrologer and he contemplated it with utmost seriousness and pronounced that we are not compatible according to some distant stars and planets and that troubles and hardships will constantly crop up claiming peace in our relationship. So that put an end to that prospective profile then-and-there.

Everything in our home is being linked up to my wedding even though it is atleast a year away.  If the tailor is late to deliver my mother’s stitched clothes, she scolds her saying, ‘My daughter’s marriage will be fixed soon. What will she wear on the mandap if you won’t deliver stitched blouses on time like how you did now?’ Or if the servant-maid doesn't dust the ceiling properly she goes, ‘My daughter will be married soon. How can I trust you with decorating the aangan with mango leaves at the time of marriage? Will you clean the house in this same manner when the guests turn up for wedding?’ A couple of tiles of the marble flooring in our dining-hall broke open and so she urges dad everyday to get it repaired immediately, as according to her,at any time the groom's family might turn up for lunch to eat the dishes I made and assess my cooking skills. She got a huge discount in the jewellery shop after she said – ‘ If you be conjoos in reducing the price even by a few hundred rupees, how can you expect me to give you the order of designing wedding jewellery for my daughter. She will be married in a few weeks. You know, you have been our jewellers for years and I will trust no one else for such an auspicious purpose. So be considerate and give me a discount now’.

Once we went to a discount mela of saris in Kalanjali showroom to purchase saris for the wedding (which we already knew was a long time away). Seeing one expensive sari my mother exclaimed loudly, ‘This Kanjeevaram sari is so grand! This so will be the sari I will wear during your wedding!’ This the shopkeeper heard and guessed that my mom would be a promising customer and upturned his whole showroom patiently and painstakingly unfolded 100+ saris in front of us. My mom after a very long debate to choose what-and-what, finally decided upon two saris for her and one for me despite the shopkeeper constantly urging her to take more- what aunty ji? Your daughter’s wedding and you settle on only this! You both should deck in a new sari for every two hours for such an once-in-a-lifetime occasion!’

Later on, my mom already wore all those saris for parties and festivals ( Varalaxmi vratam, Gauri vratam, Ganesh chaturthi …..) without saving them for the wedding. Time and again she asked funds from my dad to buy expensive saris on the pretext of my wedding. But then, she kept them for herself and could not resist beyond a couple of days without wearing them! My mom and her fad for new saris!

A slip between cup and lip

I am saturated with the marathon holiday break that I have now. An idle mind is a devil's workshop. I pestered my parents for almost a month to grant me money for buying novels to pass my time. I prepared my wish-list of all the novels that I wanted to read since an year. My town doesn't have a good bookstore. So I waited till we went to a two-day trip to Kolkata. The itinerary was tightly packed and both the days were reserved by my mother for trips to Kalighat Durga mandir and Dakshineshwar Durga mandir. I requested fell on my parent's feet and begged to take me to college street, where I heard that there is Asia's largest book market selling novels in second-hand. Finally, they obliged. I went hysterical with so many options of novels available. I picked 13 novels and waited for the moment I could come to my hometown and devour them page-by-page. My mother purchased infinite Bengali cotton saris at New market.

I and my mother had to return to our hometown while my father had to stay back on office purpose. Our luggage weighed more than the prescribed limit of 40 Kgs specified for cargo on the flight back to home. My mother made me leave all the books with my dad but did not reduce even one sari of her's though I was repeatedly pleading her. It will take two months for my father to return from his official tour.

The previous day I stacked all those novels into a tall tower and was jumping with joy at my acquisition  The next day I was dejected at the airport as I had to leave behind my bag full of novels.

A little bit of honesty goes a long way

Incident-1

From Rajiv Gandhi International airport, Hyderabad, I had to catch a morning flight to Kolkata. Not wishing to eat the bland breakfast served in flight I decided to have breakfast in the airport. I ordered a plate of Guntur-Idly in a food joint at the airport which costed a whopping price of Rs.85! In a hurry, unable to yield to a large queue of customers, the cashier gave the bill to me but surprisingly, got confused and did not take money for the order. I tried to tell him but he refused to listen to me and shooed me away saying I was holding the line of customers.

Oh shoot! I thought the restaurant won’t suffer losses if it didn't charge one plate. I had the free breakfast triumphantly, happy that I saved a lot of money. Seriously Rs. 85 for two idlis is too much!! I planned on eating soon and slipping away lest he realizes his mistake later. I was gulping down the idly and then midway I had my guilty conscience probing and disturbing me.  I could not eat any further. Then and there, I got up, went behind the counter and explained to him that by mistake he forgot to take money from me. He was very happy at my honesty and thanked me. He said that his boss would have chided him at the end of the day if the cash and the bill accounts did not tally and he would had to pay from his own pocket. It might not be a big transaction, but I felt very good with my sincerity and ate the rest of my breakfast in peace.

Incident-2

I was shopping with my family on a hot mid-afternoon.  My father was very tired and hungry. He wanted to buy a plate of fruit salad from a vendor on the street. The vendor handed over the plate to my dad but my dad was unable to hold it properly and so it fell on the road strewing the pieces of fruits here-and-there.  Disappointed and hungry my dad gave the vendor his money and we proceeded to go home. But the vendor called us back and gave another plate and did not accept money for the second plate which was totally unexpected.

He earned my respect as he was a man of strong integrity, who didn't feel greedy for money though it was rightfully his, only because his customers were not satisfied. 

Stages of our microwave oven

STAGE 1: The day we bought a microwave oven, my mother read the oven manual thoroughly and arranged for a demo from a trainer of the shop to get herself familiarised with all the functions of the oven.

STAGE 2: Immediately after its arrival, the oven stole the limelight from all other electronic gadgets/equipments in our home, be it, our new plasma television, or the new treadmill, or the split A.C etc. Mom excitedly would show the latest ‘hero’ of electronic gadgets to all the neighbours and relatives who walked into our home.

She donned gloves and baked pizzas, grilled sandwiches, cooked idlis and curries in the oven. The entire kitchen process happened within the 4 walls of the oven and she became the expert of microwave cooking The stove took a ‘back-burner’ and was shun to the attic of the kitchen.

STAGE 3: Weeks later, she still used the oven but only to re-heat the left-overs of the previous day and recycle them the next day.

Usually I and my dad try to go for extra helpings and finish the items that day itself, lest my mom refrigerates the left-overs and presents the same items the next day also, which we manage to gulp down without grumbling but with long, sad faces.

Before the oven, my mom used the stove but finding it little cumbersome to heat on the stove, she would mostly give away the old food to the maids. But with this oven, my mom found re-heating easier and quicker. I and my dad found ourselves eating stale food every other day and mom would take a lot of holidays from cooking. How we would curse the oven then!

My mom reasoned with us that ‘conventional cooking’ is the best, and cooking the food over the flame rather than using ‘some rays’ enhances the taste of the food. The stove was dusted clean and put into use.

STAGE 4: When my mom resorted to conventional cooking, the oven lost its identity and the real reason of its existence. It has been many months and now my mom uses the oven, only as a cupboard to store her purse or to hide things from us.

Once, my neighbour brought expensive calorie-laden cream chocolates. My sister ate only them and skipped food. My angry mom hid the chocolates safely inside the oven. My sister searched the fridge and entire house but she never was able to guess the hide-out place.

STAGE 5: Lately, she thinks the oven is very bulky and occupies too much space on the kitchen platform. It won’t be late before my mom banishes the oven into the storeroom alongside the miserable and neglected equipments such as vacuum cleaner, electric kettle, electric roti-maker, toaster etc, all of which lay idle, rusted and redundant, leading a futile existence. 

My mom has a fad of buying every modern gadget and is amused in it for a few weeks, then her transitory interest diminishes and the poor gadgets are ordained to rust in the murky corners of the storeroom.

From The Oops Files!

1) That day we were in pharmacology lab doing practicals on frogs. There were dusshera holidays from the next day and we all hostelers were excited to catch a bus and go home after a long time. But the frog experiments usually take a long time and extend even till night :(

No matter whatever excuses we would give to our lecturer to leave the lab early, he would flatly deny it.

My lecturer got engaged recently then. Disappointed that he was not allowing us to call it a day until we showed the results and that the last bus for the day would be leaving soon I thought of lying to him saying that I got engaged and my fiance was waiting outside the college for me. The fiance plan out of all because he was about to tie a wedlock in future and would better relate to my pining eagerness to meet the fiance. Clever , ain't I? Yeah, thank you thank you I know I had a very witty plan !

Oh well, he gave special permission just for me to leave early and boy I was so excited to go home and eat food meant for humans after so many months!


Now no brownie points for guessing this:-

I forgot about that petty lie, but he remembered it so well even after 6 months. During the parent-teachers meet, before my dad he said, "So Aparna, I couldn't get to meet your fiance that day. When are you getting married?"


Oops!!!


My dad was shocked!


2) There was just 1 week left for 10th boards and my parents made sure that I literally lived an infernal life. They put a lot of pressure on me and imposed so many restrictions-- no T.V, no internet, no reading novels and comics, no meeting with friends, no text messaging friends etc. I would get punishments from my mom if I didn't stick to the study schedule she designed for me(sigh!).

My parents would visit the temple and pray that I perform well, every evening before exams. They would hide the T.V remote. But little did they know that clever Aparna just knows the secret place too well where mom usually hides things- in the kitchen rack! I had a hell good time watching TV whenever my parents went out.

One fateful evening when they went out, I dozed off on the couch with the TV switched on.

My parents returned from the temple and caught me red-handed.

Oops!

My mom was very cross at me. It is my belief that if she wishes me 'all the best' before the exam I will fare well. I broke rules and the next day she didn't wish me for the exam and till today I attribute my poor marks in maths for her not wishing me rather than my watching T.V before the exam.

3) It was 10 in the night and the mess food was unpalatable, so we thought of eating out. My friend and I, dressed up well, like hot chicks and thought to have a good time at a posh restaurant. We spent extra time in getting ready and looking good.

Even the waiters at the fast food joint were so handsome!

The smart cashier at the cash counter caught my interest and I had an instant crush on him. We went to him and asked for the menu. My friend spent a lot of time in deciding the order, and I was devising ways to approach him for a small talk. Finally my friend ordered so many dishes for us. Boy were we very hungry! He took the order and asked to pay Rs.700.

Me: Ya, what are you looking at? Open your purse...

Her: What!!?? I thought you brought it along with you!

Oops!


We were clueless as to what to do next. I had a doubt whether my friend dropped the purse on the way somewhere....my cash and credit card and hers were in it. She is very forgetful. On top of it, this waiter who once felt smart and cute to me, didn't let us go and started demanding money in a harsh way that he can't cancel the order once it is entered in his computer.

It was so embarrassing and everyone were staring at us. We argued with him that he has to respect customers. We just blurted out whatever came to our minds, without thinking and the trick was to shout louder than him, at the crest of our voices to silence him. Finally we won as it was two voices against one and he let us go. I went pink with embarrassment as I didn't encounter such an incident that too in an up-society food joint and on top of that my crush insulted me! :(

We went back to our hostel without eating, and by the time we reached, the mess food was also finished. I slept on an empty stomach and with a broken heart :(


4) Once I and my friend returned very late to the hostel after shopping. We have strict rules that by 10' o clock the doors would be closed. It was 11.30 P.M. While we were in the shop we were unbothered about it, thinking we will plead warden and somehow get in. But we didn't have the guts to confront her while we stood at the gates. She would make a fuss by informing parents and impose restrictions for going out. It was a cold winter day and we were freezing outside. I wanted nothing more than sleeping on my cozy bed right then.

We finally decided to jump the tall and majestic gate. The gate keeper was away and we had to do it quick.I left my shoes and the shopping bags down and with my athletic skills climbed the gate and jumped to the other side. My friend threw my bags and shoes over the gate to me. She followed suit and left her stuff and shoes and climbed off the gate. With much difficulty, and scratches here and there and with a torn off dress she managed to climb to the other side of the gate, but then she realized that she did a stupid thing and there was no one to throw her shoes and bags to us.


We didn't have the strength to climb again and recover the bags also. So we silently crept to our beds and thought to take her stuff the next morning. But the next day her stuff went missing.

Oops!!

All her expensive dresses and books she purchased and her shoes....just went poof!

We couldn't complain to our warden also because with that she would know that we jumped the hostel gates which was according to her the biggest crime.

5) My dad brought 3 tooth brushes. Red for me, blue for my sister and yellow for my mother.

One day I went to the wash room and noticed that my tooth brush was wet even before I used it. I had a doubt that my sister got confused and used mine, so I went to ask her.

Me: Sis, did you use the red tooth brush? That is mine. Yours is blue or something right?
Sister: What? No...all these days I've been using red. Yours is yellow... I am sure.

Oops!

My mom: What!!?? Red is mine!! I've been using it all these days. You girls got confused.


Oops!


6) Once I was very angry on my sister for some reason. I wanted to take revenge on her. I added salt in her home delivered favourite veg sandwich which she ordered

The next day, at school's lunch break, being hungry I opened my lunch box. My heart sank after I ate a salty sandwich and spitted it out! I realized my mom being unwell couldn't cook anything and packed the same salty sandwich for my lunch.

Oops!

7) My cousin used to not allow me into my washroom.I was a kid then. She would store lots of expensive lotions and beauty products in the wash room cupboard. One day I sneaked in while she was away. I took some products and kept them hidden, tied in a towel. Congratulating myself on my small victory I went to the terrace and applied the cream on my face. Very happy with myself I was about to hide them under the staircase.Just then I bumped into my cousin coming down the steps and the lotions from the towel fell down right in front of her !

Oops!

It seems there were creams for eczema!!

Oops!

8) It was August-time for juniors to join college. We were final year B.pharmacy students then and went to rag some new-looking timid faces and take a pay back because we too were ragged by our seniors. The tradition and legacy has to continue right?

We told one girl to count the number of coconut trees in the campus and give us the answer in half-an-hour.

She turned out to be M.pharm first year....that means she was our senior!!


Oops!

I counted 43 coconut trees in half-an-hour :(


9) As I am very kind, I decided to give proxy to my friend who bunked the class to catch up with a new flick. My absent friend got attendance that day.

When my number was called, the lecturer noticed me answering the roll-call twice

Oops!

He told me to butt out of the class and marked me absent :(

The cauliflower thieves

I along with my mom, cousin and her family went to visit a Shiva temple in the outskirts of Bangalore. The countryside was so picturesque with lush green fields fresh with bountiful produce of vegetables and flowers. It was like a scene right out of farmville, only that this was for real.


We prayed fervently to God to bestow upon us virtues and keep us healthy, happy and prosperous. I went to the extent of writing series of letters full of demands and wish-list, folded it and kept it in God's chamber so that he will read it later and grant my wishes:)

The shiva idol was so majestic and divine that it commanded full faith and devotion even from me who usually claims to be an agnostic. He mesmerised me with his charisma.

After visiting the deity, we were walking along the fields towards our car. The fresh and voluminous cauliflowers on the field tempted us. The farmer was away and there was no one in sight so that we could buy them right from the field.

All our prayers to God to confer us with pure thoughts and behaviour went futile and we shamelessly pounced on the fields and plucked two cauliflowers...that too after visiting a pious temple to erase away our sins.

We all worked like a team of skillful and expert robbers. I and my cousin plucked cauliflowers from the wet soil, my mother took it from us and removed the leaves and roots, my uncle wiped away the soil, and my aunt kept the car doors open and pushed us inside as soon as the work was done and drove away so that we could escape fast.

We thought the next time we would come by these fields we should keep a knife handy in the car to cut and uproot vegetables easily and bring along lots of bags and later sell them at double the price in markets. At this rate we team of expert thieves can loot even a bank ! It is sad that right now we are just cauliflower thieves.


I am sure right now you must be cursing us and thinking that it is because of unscrupulous people like us farmers are suffering losses and committing suicides. But hey it was just two cauliflowers !

Maybe by the next time we go there, the farmer would be extra vigilant, and construct electric fences, laser alarms and sirens !

We were so thrilled with our shameless little adventure that it gave us a kick and we kept pitying and cracking jokes on the poor farmer. As this is off-season, they would have costed atleast Rs.20 each. Ya ya...I know all the hype just for such a small amount, but we were just beginners rehearsing before we can construct a master plan to rob a bank.


The aloo-gobi sabji my mom made with the stolen cauliflowers was extra delicious I tell you.


This petty theft of us reminded my uncle so many such naughty incidents that happened in his childhood. He narrated one such incident and our small theft seemed nothing in front of his crafty mischief.

My uncle in his childhood was so naughty and clever. He would offer help to his neighbour, an old lady, for plucking mangoes by climbing the tree. She would be very grateful for his offer. My uncle would actually throw more mangoes when that old lady looked away into the hay stack hidden at the other side of the wall than rightfully throw into the basket meant for her. She would wonder why there were so many mangoes hanging on the tree but only few of them in the basket :P


So finally I had a lot of fun time with my cousin and her family in Bangalore. We laughed at the cauliflower theft for half a day. Maybe that was what made the trip to the temple more special and memorable. Otherwise it would be just a normal visit to the temple.

On the way we found jasmine fields also. We bought them rightfully from the field by paying the farmer , so it isn't as thrilling as stealing cauliflowers.

I will make a garland out of those jasmine flowers and offer it to the Shiva deity next time I go to that temple and ask him to overlook and forgive my petty sin of theft :)

The final day

Tomorrow I shall attend the last day of college. I'll be the last one to graduate after finishing my practical viva voce in Pharmaceutical analysis as my Roll number is last -- an embarrassing 69 out of 69 class strength. Thank God from now on I need not put up with giggles from my classmates due to its naughty implications whenever my roll number is called .I always used to wonder these 4 years why only this shameful number was alotted to me out of the infinite numbers available.

On the first day of my college, Jitendra sir told us that we have to stay here for 4 whole years which to me felt like a very loooong time and that it will take forever for my course to get over. As I've shifted 10 schools, I am in constant need of change and fresh faces around. But then I feel astonished as these days spanned by soon and before I knew it, here comes the final showdown tomorrow.

As I look back, I have seen so many happy days and sad days.


Sad days because--I couldn't cope up with politics played by classmates, the tough nature to sport and survival of the fittest game in hostel, rude behaviour by seniors, hectic schedule in practicals and theory classes, the exam tension, slogging from text books heavier than me, always missing home and mom, cursing the unpalatable and unidentifiable mess food, standing in queues for everything in hostel right from bathrooms to breakfast etc, petty quarrels with room mates over "I want to switch off the lights as I'm sleepy"....."No, I want lights switched on for studying!!!"

Happy days because I had ..umm...fun in my own measure (i always think fun is an over-rated word). Hostel life made me brave and tough and now I am confident that I won't feel like a fish out of a pond wherever I go. The gossips and chit-chats we girls had, the teasing, the fun-poking incidents, the pranks we played, imitating lecturers, cheating in the exam and devising innovative novel ways to copy right under the nose of the invigilator, the birthday bashes and b-day bumps, the way we shamelessly just need any irrelavant excuse like neighbour's sister's dog's birthday of our classmates to levy money and loot them bankrupt demanding to throw parties, flirting with boys, making them do all the practical experiments for us, asking the boys to recharge our mobile balance etc etc ...like how any other normal college going student enjoys his/her life.

I remember that in my 7th class, I had to read out a paragraph from my science text book aloud to the class. There was this word 'pharmaceuticals' and I didn't know how to pronounce it. I read it as ' pharma- "cute"- ticals' and my teacher instantly corrected me as 'pharma-"syu"-ticals'.

I didn't even know how to pronounce pharmaceutics back then, but now I hold a graduation degree in pharmaceutical sciences!! I love pharmacology branch in my course. My heart beats for it, as it is so interesting. I always scored outstanding marks in it. I hope to clear my PG entrance exam and do Masters in pharmacology.

Will I miss my friends and college?


No.



I've always wanted a change. I'm looking forward to the new college I can get into and the new people I can meet than feel sad missing my present classmates. I've grown out of them now. I did have fun with them and some memories I'll cherish forever. But I don't want my life to be stagnant and revolve around the same people.

My new pets - Pigeons

We were in Ghaziabad, U.P , back then when I was a 5 yr old.
I remember nothing about our stay there except that there used to be many pigeons flying in the balcony and I used to get scared of them. I also remember eagles chasing and feeding on the just born pigeons.

During one harsh summer, a pigeon laid eggs inside our water cooler. Maybe it wanted a cool and comfortable home safe from the eagles, to incubate its hatchlings. Mom wouldn't allow me to switch on the cooler in the scorching heat nor did she move the eggs to another place. She was fond of the pigeon and primarily thought of its comfort over mine. I would curse this mama pigeon day-and-night and many-a-times thought of breaking the eggs while it went out for fetching food.


One day an eagle saw their comfort home and while I opened the windows to let in some cool air, it came in and snatched on an egg and flew away before my mom could come and shoo it off. I felt miserable for that unborn baby pigeon.


I started taking care of the pigeon as my pet. I would keep a watch on these nasty eagles and supply insects and cockroaches for the pigeon as food. After some days the eggs hatched into two tiny bald pigeons. They looked very ugly. They would squeak all the time in their screechy little voices and eat the food their mom brought till their stomachs got swollen and bulged out. I named them -Tini and Mini.

After only 2 days the eggs hatched into squabs(baby pigeons) my dad received transfer orders to another place and we had to leave those pigeons there itself. Even in my new place I would get reminded of them and wished they would stay safely from the greedy eagles.


(clicked photos this morning while the mama pigeon was away. I was very afraid that she would come and peck me thinking I'm harming her babies)


Recently another pigeon laid eggs near the window of the abandoned store room and those eggs hatched today. Meet the new age Tini and Mini. They are very ugly but cute at the same time. They stink a lot! And they made the place very dirty with their droppings and twigs :)




May be one day they will grow wings and fly away to find a new home. But I'll remember these tiny things and cherish this photo forever.

Article to The Hindu's Collegian collumn

More than the news, 'media' is in the news these days

Media is irrefutably the fourth pillar of democracy,but it should not misuse its vested responsibility in the aegis of its constitutional prerogative of 'the freedom of press'.News channels in order to gain TRP's and to have an edge over their competitors are in a mad rush to telecast sensational tidbits in the name of 'breaking news' before others air it and in that process fail to check the credibility of the same.They compromise on facts and draw conclusions from vague data available,and by the time the authenticity is crosschecked, enough irrevocable damage would already have been done.The attack on reliance outlets and misquoting of Shashi Taroor's statements are just two such instances which clearly reflects media's professionalism or lack thereof.Editors of print media and heads of news channels should assert their reporters not to rely on personal views, biases, rumours and dubious websites and insist on fetching news only from reliable and verified sources.

Acknowledgements of my upcoming book

I thought of a wonderful plot for my novel which is going to be out in the near future. I hope some reputed publishers like the manuscript and agree to print my work. So people, watch out for author Aparna's upcoming book!

Here's the preview of the acknowledgements page just for the benefit of you folks! Well, they say that a work in development should not be revealed before it is ready, but here it is anyway.


A huge thank you--


To my Parents, for buying and letting me read novels rather than academic books. For their patience to bear my tantrums and pocket money demands.

To the Jayanagar street pirated novel sellers, for making all the wonderful novels available at an affordable cost. Never mind that some pages go missing and that the print is bad.
For taking pity on me and not trying to sell pirated copies of this particular novel.

To my best friend Reeha, for proof reading the entire novel and making umpteen suggestions. (Finally by incorporating all of them my novel didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be!)

To the heartthrob and imaginary Nick, with love. For making me smile whenever I think of his name. For making me experience what love, fantasy and pain is.

To Edward cullen, for letting me imagine him as a temporary boyfriend until I find one. And for introducing me to fantastic creatures like vampires and werewolves to dream all night.

To my sister Akhila-the little menace maker, for giving me various ideas to write this tragedy novel. Without her my life would have been peaceful and I wouldn't have had a first-hand experience of troubles and tribulations.

To my Kolkata brothers- Prithwish, Anwesh and Aersh for being the inspiration behind writing fiction.

To maverick, for always kindling sparks of inspiration in me to write beautiful, heart-touching masterpieces.

To Ruben, for pointing me out that my life could be interesting too during the times I felt my life was monotonous.
To Ste and Rashi, for introducing me to a creative writers union called 'Writer's lounge'.

To Arun Kumar, Brocasarea, Ashish Gaurav, ani_aset, Aritra, NJ, cutestangel, Nazish R for always going through the kilometer long blog posts I write. Thank you for the patience.

To Nevil, for being Avalanche and making me his Kitty.


And here's the plot of my story.
























































Actually I only thought about the acknowledgements and how the cover page is going to be till now. I'm still racking my brains for a good story. So folks, pray that some brainwave strikes me soon!


P.S : Please refrain from buying pirated copies of my novel even if it costs Rs. 600.

Rants of a single life

Being single is like a double-edged knife. Weighing its pros and cons, here's a self analysis post.

Single life : A bane?

Being single has a lots of negatives. Firstly life is very dry,dull and dab. I feel jealous of all my friends who are committed. They are always happy and keep smiling for no reason. I wonder if it has something to do with their boyfriends.

1)They excitedly run to their phones when it rings hoping it would be their bfs. While, I get annoyed and curse my mobile when it rings, only to disturb me.
They giggle to themselves reading sms's from their bfs and keep messaging very frequently, feeding their bfs with information of what they do every second.
"Hi hun! I just washd my face now. Wht's up wid u? Lotsa kisses. Muaaah."
They have an up-to-date knowledge of all network offers, like which network offers free sms's, free within network calls, 10 paise per minute calls, happy night free hours etc. They start getting worried if their mobile balance runs lower than Rs. 50. They go to the nearby grocery shop atleast twice a day for buying top-ups.
And me?
If I have balance in my phone, my roomies ask me if they can make calls with mine. I can't refuse also. So nowadays I don't bother to recharge.My balance even if it is at 20 paise, I heck don't give a damn.

2)One of my Bangalore friends is blessed with 2 boyfriends. A backdoor relationship. She says she can't remember what she said to each of them and gets confused often.
One day, her bf # 1, she and I went to Branded factory. When her bf was selecting an outfit, I saw he had the vote ink dot on his index finger. I asked him to which party he voted for. I have respect for people who use their vote franchise.
A week after that we went out with her bf # 2. While he was waving to us, I saw the vote dot on his finger too. I asked him the same question. My friend instantly blurted out, " How many times will you ask him?" He was bemused and said to her that it was the first time I was asking him. Their was a shock of realisation in her when she found him on the verge of getting doubt on her. Her bf # 2 is very suspicious. It was hard for me to control my laughter seeing them both. Then she regained, after he didn't seem to doubt anything. We both winked and found the whole thing funny later.

But the good thing is that she gets double of everything. Double gifts, double flowers, double love....

3)Remember the scene from 'jannat' where the girl stares into the window display of a ring. Emran walks into the showroom and breaks the window to get the ring for her.
Well, I stare at so many windows of so many showrooms at pretty much everything gloomily with a long face,unable to buy jewellery I like because I'm broke most of the times. I always wait for my Emran to come. Alas, there is no one to steal for me :(

4)On the way to my room, one night, I stopped at the grocery store to buy some items. Just then a boyishly handsome guy stepped into the shop. I only could stare at him with my jaw open. I was waiting for him to look my way. Maybe just one of my sharp killer looks will be sufficient to lay him. He didn't bother to look anywhere. He just walked into the shop, asked for airtel night balance recharge coupon, recharged his mobile and started speaking into his phone excitedly. My heart broke then into a 1ooo pieces! Surely he was already committed. That explains the night balance.

5) My friends choose spending time with their bfs rather than spending with me. Everyone in the hostel go out somewhere or the other with their lovers and I am left alone in the room :(

My roomie once was very generous to take me out along with her bf. So we went to Metropolis mall in threesome.
But I regretted going out with them. I was like a hurdle in their path for romance. They were searching for chances secretly for kissing etc etc, whenever I turned the other way. I felt very embarrassed and cheap to come along with them only to spoil the fun for them. Later in the elevator, they found a private space. They made an excuse that they needed to buy something. They made me wait down at the coffee shop. The guy offered to buy me a pastry so that I would be engaged while they go to the elevator to do their thing. I knew what trick was playing in their mind.I was so irritated at them to keep me waiting that I intentionally selected the most expensive pastry on the menu. My friend's bf just gulped and silently paid the bill and sat me down alone at the table. I was so sure that he scolded her gf that she brought me along. I was a pain in 'there' to them. But I got my revenge. Why bother to invite me when they wanted to spend intimate moments?

6) I went with 2 of my friends along with their bfs to Mc D. We girls were thirsty and hungry . We waited while the guys went to order for us.The guys got glasses of water and burgers for their respective girls but not for me. I realised I had to fetch water and food myself and joined the queue.

Single life : A boon?

1) I need not bother about what I wear. All my other friends, buy expensive branded clothes and dress up hours to impress their bfs. I pick up clothes from the streets and don't even bother to check into the mirror when I get ready.
At this point, I always have an argument with my friend. She disagrees with me and points out that singles need to take extra care for dressing to impress and lay a guy for entering into relationship.

2)My bank balance always grows. I don't spend money on cell phone bills, greeting cards, gifts, flowers etc. I buy for myself.

3) I need not remember important dates like the day of proposal, his birthday, the day of first kiss, the day of first.....

4) I live my life by my own rules. Nobody dominates me. Some of my friends have bossy bfs.

5) I have a pleasant night's sleep. Rest of my friends wake up all night, shaking away their sleep to call their lovers, using the night balance.

I still can't resolve my dilemma. Is it a bliss or a curse?

Creative solutions

Last year, my college organised a rally programme in the town where we had to create awarness among laymen about the safe use of medicines and not to resort to self-medication. We held banners and distributed pamphlets to passer-bys.

I was very angry that people didn't ever care to give a mere glance at the pamphlets and there I was walking the streets in the scorching sun trying to enlighten them about their health and safety. Unbothered they crumbled and crushed the paper and threw it down as soon as I gave them. Worser still, the vendors used them for packing mango pieces, chat and other eatables and some used the pamphelts for fanning away the hot air.

A brainwave hit me- I crumbled a pamphet beforehand and offered it to a man who was approaching. Out of curiosity, he opened the pamphlet and read on. He even praised me and my classmates about the awareness programme.

And from that moment, all of us in the rally , crushed the pamphets before distributing them. It really worked !

Pharma industrial visit

Sumages pharma industrial visit

I went to a pharma industrial trip recently to Sumages Pharma Industry and Chemiloids Laila implex.I had fun with classmates in the trip and learnt about the practical aspects of the equipments we use in drug manufacturing and formulation.

Well during the journey we met with a small accident. The bus collided with a tractor driven by a negligent driver carrying rice husk dust. The dust fell on us through the windows. It was very irritating. For a split second I thought we were all dead. Later I was relieved that it was harmless and nothing much happened to us. We got compenstion for the broken window panes of the bus.


Cutting-edge technology equipments and apparatus were all displayed in the industry. Watching all that was like visualising a scene from a futuristic hollywood movie. Eveything was automated by computers.


Capsule granulating equipment

Some of the equipments were capsule granulating machine, nuclear magnetic resonance equipment, HPLC appratus,titrimeter, friability testing appratus, spectrophotometer,tablet strip packing equipment, tablet coating equipment etc.



Capsule filling and strip packing equipment

The titrimeter, and friability testing apparatus

In the botanical germplasm bank, all herbs and medicinal plants were housed. I've seen rats, and mice in the pharmcology lab being experimented.

It was a great experience. I gained so much information. I hope we go to more such trips.

My terrace

I love my terrace. Whenever I feel sad or happy, I come to the terrace.
I have always been adventurous in finding secret places on the terrace of my home...under the water tank, over the lift room, behind the poles....

Nobody knows these places. No body climbs to the terrace.There are many secret places on my terrace where I can cut off and hide from the rest of the world.

My hide-out: Under the water tank


I find so much serenity and solace here when I'm disturbed.Whether I'm happy, angry or sad, I feel contended staying alone staring the aure sky.


Panoramic view

The sky and the moon always enthrall me. I love sky-watching , counting the stars, bird-watching and observing people who look like ants, from my terrace.



The tower

I find inspiration to write poems and stories here. I love flying kites from my terrace. The panoramic view from the terrace is scenic.I can watch the whole town from here.The BSNL towers are errected on the terrace. I love climbing its poles and sitting on its rungs.

antenna

Random thoughts - 1

I had the blues because I had no shoes,

until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

I've read this quote on Koushik's updates.

It really left me wondering for a while.I am so much pampered by my parents. A spoilt kid you can say. When I want something, its then and there that I want it and no second thoughts about that. I believe in leading life in my own terms.

Tomorrow I need to go to college after 1 week long break. I will have to get up at 6 early in the morning and catch a bus. I have been used to getting up at 12ó clock during the holidays. I begged dad to drop me in his car. But the driver was unavailable. I became pesky and started putting a tantrum that I needed the car no matter what.

Dad became angry and said that there are so many in the world who don't enjoy comforts and luxuries like I do. I am lazy to catch a bus to go to college. But there are poor students who walk miles on barefeet to reach college.

It's high time that I should realise my mistake. I thank god for giving me a wonderful and caring family who leave no stone unturned in granting my wants and needs.

Thank you, god. I realised my mistake.

And I will be a good girl and won't trouble dad.

I won't go to college tomorrow.

Dear Santa - The year as I retrospect

From

My room,

India, Asia

25th December 2008

To

Santa Clause,
Teens wish granting wing,
Head post office of Artic circle,
North pole

Dear Santa,

Thank you for my new patiala dress my mother bought last week. Everyone told me that I looked pretty in my pink patiala. And also thanks for giving me 'gone with the wind'. I wanted to read that book from so many months. Would you get me 'Andromeda' by 'Micheal Chricton' this time? Please do something to convince my parents to take me to a trip to Araku valley and Vizag. I'm dying to go there! Please give good marks for my li'l sister in her boards. Please keep my parents healthy and happy.

I tried baking a cake in the new oven we bought, Santa. But it didn't come out well. Never mind that. When I'll be sleeping on my bed at night, leave Andromeda novel by my bedside.Please don't forget to bring some other nice gifts in your sleigh for me. I have hung extra-large sized socks by my bedside so that you can leave many gifts. And yes, the socks are not stinking. They are washed and perfumed.

I want to relate to you some notable events which happened to me this year. I'm alerting you, this is going to be a long letter!

I’ve seen bright days. Dark days. Been happy. Been sad.
I had an eventful and momentous year. Last Christmas I wrote a letter to you asking for fulfilling some wishes. They had been granted. My heartfelt thanks to you.

My birthday in April went fine. But I couldn’t enjoy much as I had to take 2nd year exams the next day. I am happy with my 2nd year results…77%…I couldn’t have asked for more.

I had a great summer. I had been to an adventurous trip to Bengaluru, all by myself, for a whole month. I had a great time with cousins and old friends --Sup, Souj, Prash, Skanda and Pri. I miss Bengaluru now. My heart roams in the streets and lanes of Jayanagar. While I was on a morning walk in Jayanagar one day, I saw a beautiful Bungalow built in wood and bamboo with creepers adorning the gates and with a green garden around the house. I had decided that I would come back to B'lore to buy that beautiful house when I started earning money. It would be mine someday. Hopefully.

And then 3rd year started…back to the same routine of college and studies. I took part in poster presentation on the topic ‘microsponges’ in Vishnu College. We had pharmacy week celebrations in our college. I took part in the essay competition. As a part of pharma week programme, we pharma students went to a nearby village for surveying the commonest diseases people suffer and the drugs they use. We had a rally on the topic ‘safe use of prescription medicines’ and we had to convey the message with banners and pamphlets. It was a nice experience. That day I felt I was a true pharmacist and I did something to help the society in my own small way.

Last Sunday, I was very happy. Nobody could be so cheerful and merry. I was the happiest person in the world. I was flashing smiles to everyone I came across, for some innate happiness was surging inside me. It happened for the first time ever with me that I was that happy. Until then I thought I was an unlucky girl and that my wishes were never granted. I had a spree of jolts and sad moments one after one, again and again, few years ago. I forgot to smile then. But on that Sunday I was happy. But something was constantly warning me and I had fears that smiles at present are a premonition of ensuing predicaments in future. It is a sin to be so much glad when so many people are suffering. Some omen was hinting me that this was just the calm before the violent and boisterous storm and sadness would claim my smiles.

And precisely then I got a call from my classmate saying that the results of 3rd year, 1st semester were out and I didn’t clear pharmacology. I was so shocked! I couldn’t believe that. She had to be wrong! I wept bitterly for sometime. There was no way I could have flunked in it! It’s my favourite subject and I always scored well in it. I wanted to do Masters in pharmacology. And here someone tells me I failed in it! What could have possibly gone wrong?? Why did that happen to me? How could I show my shameful face to my parents, who expected so much from me, had so many hopes pinned on me??

Later I got a call from her again, that she heard the results wrong and that I had cleared all the subjects. Thank god for that! I was so much relieved. For a few moments I thought that all the world for me was lost and that the ground was swept off my feet! I was in utter confusion and distress. I would never forget the despair I went through. But it made me realize...what if I really couldn’t clear a subject? I promised myself that I will always study well and never allow such a situation to ever rise. Santa, please promise that I will fare well in my studies and career. My studies are always my priority.

Tonight I will celebrate Christmas with my sister on the terrace with some nice music playing. I have nicely decorated there. Hot and tasty bread sandwiches are on the menu. I’ve downloaded ‘Rab ne banadi jodi’. My sister and I will be watching the movie on the terrace.

Have a merry Christmas Santa! Thanks for giving me such a wonderful year and I hope that all the years which follow will be as promising or even better than this year for me, for my family and for everyone in this world!

I have been a good girl this year. You know what exactly to give me right? If I stayed up late, will you hug me?

Say hi to Rudolf for me. He might have a tough time tonight carrying heavy load of Christmas goodies in the cart.Is it very cold there? Get yourself red coloured warm woollen clothes. I will write to you next X-mas again. Happy New Year in advance! Bye!

Love, Aparna, Age 19

The affidavit

I've been pestering Dad for almost an year for buying digital camera. I'm fed up with the conventional camera and with the whole lengthy process of it.I'm lazy in the first place to take the reel to the photo studio. O.k just in case I hand over the photos to the studio ...I hate frantically waiting for the photos to get developed...and finally when these photos arrive...they don't come as I expect(sigh!). This happened everytime-- with my birthday photos, party snaps with friends, photos of family holidaying, the college fresher's day etc etc. You either find me closing my eyes in half of them...or I am still setting my hair or dress being unaware that the photo has been already clicked 2 minutes ago...or give a crooked smile that scares anybody's guts off !So kudos for this revolutionary digital camera--which has refined photo shooting and made this task much more enjoyable. I can delete bad snaps and choose the ones I like.!

I've been convincing dad that my neighbour has it, my friend Priyanka has it, my cousin Souj has it , so why can't I own one? You get the point there right. From past 1 year I failed miserably to persuade him. What not have I tried?? Blackmailed him, tried coaxing him up, buttering up, stopped eating food for a day to put up strike and done pretending to be a good girl in front of him. He has so much grit and determination that he has refused to give in or give up. And so am I ok....neither will I admit defeat so soon.I still am not letting my father be victorious...that battle is yet to be conquered.

And I've devised a final fool-proof plan which is bound to succeed. The affidavit...yes official one. You see the 'Govt. of India' seal there? It is fully original. Here was my plan...not just one of it...but 2 of them..plan A and if it fails plan B.

Plan A-- Here's the rough master idea for you folks--

Take a blank sheet -->Go to dad-->Ask for autograph(Dad's a big sucker for fame...yaps off as if he's a big celeb.So he's bound to fall for this one!!) --> Rest is all in this geniou's hands...edit it as I want....add any number of complicated clauses and fabricate it to suit my needs. (Give a thumbs up to me!!)

Plan B -- My back up plan--

Tare off the affidavit --> Flip it into the trash bin --> Fall on dad's feet --> yell, cry, weep make a hella noise!!

But guys plan A succeeded fortunately(yaay!!). Rest was all history! Dad went berserk. Finally he calmed down. He finally agreed to buy a digi-cam soon!!.. but on a mutual agreement. Dad wanted to add a new clause in the affidaavit that I should get 80 + % in my 3rd year 2nd semister exams. Well, they are anyway to be conducted in next April. So my dad might as well forget about the whole episode by then and on the contrary I am to get my digi-cam just in 2 - 4 days!! yippie!! So I thought there's no harm in signing the agreement.

Finally I got my sister to sign it as an eye-witness to this. So, folks 14th November is a big day for me. In case my Dad fails to keep his word ,I along with the help of my sister, with the proof of the affidavit, have a full-fledged official right to sentence him to jail. Just joking!! ...it won't go that far. Umm..hopefully.He won't leave much of a choice to me if he fails to purchase one.

Will post if I did really purchase one or not. Bye folks!!

The witty reply

It was history class. I was in 4th at that time. My history teacher was very intimidating. Her piercing stern spectacled eyes would command fear. I would dread her class and wait for the bell to ring.

The lesson was on Indus valley civilization and how people back then used to lead their lives.There was a picture of a man bathing in 'The great bath', mohenjadaro. The picture was quite revealing and that ancient man was scantily clad in clothes. We students found it very funny and tried to suppress giggles. But no one dared to laugh out loud due to fear of the teacher. The teacher sensing indisciplined giggles got hot-tempered.

Teacher : What's it? Who's it lauging? Don't you all remove clothes and bath every morning? (more laughther from us)

Teacher:(screeching at the crest of her voice): Sshh!!...What's so funny here? You all will be sent out right now!! I want pin-drop silence now!

We tried to hide our faces behind books. My classmate Vikram was the only bold student who spoke out in defiance. He gave a sharp reply which I haven't forgotten even now.

Vikram: True ma'm we all bath every morning... but we don't have our pictures printed in the text book this way!

To this my teacher didn't have any answer. She was staring at him tongue-tied and flabbergasted. No body dared to back answer her anytime. But Vikram was very intelligent and bold. Eventually she chuckled at the joke and seeing this, our laughter got fueled up and finally the whole class for the first time in the dreadful history period, along with the teacher, were all laughing.