I was gossiping with my room-mate lousily in my hostel room one night.It was almost 9.00 PM on 1st november.
I was telling her, "Today is November 1st.It is Aishwarya Rai's birthday...the most beautiful woman on earth. And tomorrow on november 2nd, it is Sharukh's birthday."
She asked, '' When is your b'day?"
Me: "April 20th....Its a long way ahead.What kinda chocolates do you like?"
Her:"Dark chocolate.I want plenty of them.Accha, so when is your sister's b-daÿ?"
Her:"And when is your mom's b'day?"
Me: "Nov 1st.My mom makes special dishes on that day and visits the temple.I never forget to wish her that day and...". I was continuing to talk but noticed that her jaw was dropped in disbelief.
She almost screamed at me at the crest of her voice," so what the hell do you think the day is today...huh!!??''
I answered very obviously, ''November 1st...what happened? why are you asking?". Looking at her expressions it suddenly occured to me and I almost screamed, "November 1st!!!! ...Damn!"
It completely ran out of mind that it was my mom's b'day that day! I was so absent-minded.I remembered Aish's b'day but not my mother's!! And my mom is definitely more charming that Aish.I was so ashamed.
Wasting no second, I ran to call my mom and wished her a belated happy b'day.She was very happy that I remembered her b'day atleast at the end of the day. She didn't complain a bit.
Thanks to my friend for reminding me. My mom would not have been angry on me if I didn't wish her but she would be very happy if I did wish her.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I was gossiping with my room-mate lousily in my hostel room one night.It was almost 9.00 PM on 1st november.
Its new year's eve! I can sniff the pervasive merry-making spirit and the cheerfulness in the air. As I bid good-bye to the year 2007,I analyzed the whole year. It was a memorable one. I shifted to a better college, made lots of good friends and got a better result in my 1st year exam than I expected.
But the best day of the year 2007 was on 24th December, at the break of midnight to be precise, when I was awaiting Christmas. I went on to the terrace to do a countdown for Christmas. It was a full-moon day. The milky moon was smiling, crystal white, studded against a dark background of the sky, circumvented by polka-dotted twinkling stars.
Its a custom I follow every year on 24th dec 12ó clock that I write a letter to Santa Clause about my wishes addressed "To Santa Clause, Artic, North pole.” Then I set the letter aflame by the candlelight and blow the ash to be carried away by the breeze. Its my belief that fire-god acts as a messenger and couriers the letter to him.
I wished in the letter that I could talk to my best friend. It’s been several days that I spoke to him properly. And hey presto!...Santa acceded to my wishes and I was able to talk to him for 2 whole hours later that night.
The very word Christmas conjures up in my mind endearing images like those of Christmas tree festooned with golden bells and ornaments, Christmas carols, the cheerful folk, Santa Clause with goodies in his sleigh and the winter-snowfall.
I am not a Christian and I may not go to church, or kiss under the mistletoe or decorate the Christmas tree but I do enjoy Christmas Eve and the new year that follows ...which gives us a chance to rejuvenate and start our life afresh with novel hopes. The Christmas spirit is so contagious and I enjoy the merry-making regardless of my religion.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Loved this particular song 'Tum Se Hi'.Meaningful and romantic lyrics.I liked the the antiphony humming from behind 'Aa aa..aa aa…aa aa..aa aa.. aa..' This is a lovely song..while listening to this song you feel that this song has been written just for you.The words are straight out of your own life.It makes one feel the presence of loved ones though they are not around.The song takes you to a different world altogether..the words spell magic and capture you heart, making you sing along everytime the song is played.
Friday, December 21, 2007
I read in a newspaper about how a diary—a mere memoir of day’s events saves the day. A lady suspected a possible murder threat from her enemy and penned down his name in her diary besides her day events. She was murdered in a few days by him,tactfully without leaving a clue leading to him. The police investigated her room and finally came to know about the culprit from the diary and got him arrested.
Then I realized that I should start writing my events in a diary too. I made it my new year resolution. My English teacher during school days used to encourage writing diary entries. I thought to try my hands on it. On a second thought it occurred to me that my life’s daily torpid routine wouldn’t be exciting enough to mention in a diary. Nothing extraordinary and fascinating happens with me. I have seen my life as if I already lived it… the same circle of friends, family, college, endless exams and studying. Every dawn I wake up to the morning light, there’s nothing to which I look forward to.
I decided to go for it anyway. Ruben was my inspiration as he told me that my life is interesting enough. Who knows…my diary too could save the day one day.
11.00 A.M Good morning diary! I woke up at 10.30 today. It’s a lazy Sunday. Mom was angry that I got up very late told me she didn’t give me breakfast as a punishment. I thought, ‘shoot! Its lunch time anyway.’
11.30 A.M Had my brunch. It contained nothing worth mentioning.
11.45 AM In these 15 mins I thought of the possible things I could write in my diary.
11.50 AM My sister was watching T.V. …some cartoons…doesn’t interest me. T.V is always under her control. I never get to watch my favourite shows on the T.V.
12.00 noon Yawning!…called up my friend so that I could go to her friend’s place. She was out to theatre for a movie. Everybody seemed to have a great time except me.
12.30 PM Siesta time! My favourite!….my eyelids are drooling already..nothing like sleeping on a hot afternoon.
12.40 PM Couldn’t sleep…maybe because I got up just a couple of hours ago. My family was sound asleep. I will try studying class notes…pharma analysis…damn sure to make me sleepy.
12.45 PM The idea didn’t work.I reviewed the contents of the diary and stifled up 2 yawns. 2 hours of the day are spent and still nothing eventful.
12.50 PM Now I thought of how uneventful all my days were spent…from the day I was born to this day...my whole life as a matter of fact. My life has no aim, no adventure, no fun. I even doubt my very own existence. I am of no use as a human being…nothing more than a piece of trash in bin. I am an unnecessary load on earth. Even if I die tomorrow nothing would be lost to mankind.
12.55 PM I opened today’s newspaper. So many events and so much news. I had a quick glance at the headlines, lethargic to read the whole content what the news reporter had to say…
The frontpage news--’STF to wipe out naxals’…PM said, ”We can’t rest until we have eliminated naxals”
Good….didn’t he say something similar in yesterday’s news and the day before and back then too?? He doesn’t seem restless to me.
1.00 PM I was still reading the Sunday paper
‘T.V loses to youtube—more and more people prefer to watch videos and serials through the internet.’….This is what I do exactly. I can watch what I choose in youtube. With T.V its in the broadcaster’s hands.
‘Beckham gifts a book to wife Victoria on christmas’…Is this called news? My dad gifted many books to my mom. Why couldn’t that get into the paper?
1.05 PM I turned to sudoku section to solve it. It was already solved by my dad. I turned the page to astrology section called ‘Your day today’--
Aries-‘New ventures and adventures are on the way. Things may be challenged in your life in such a way that you find yourself difficult to hold on ground’…yeah? ..so that’s why I find today boring as always…all crap!
‘Romance will dominate your day. Best time to talk with your beloved.’ Really? I liked this. Only problem…there’s no beloved yet.
I continued to read ‘Your smaller details may reward you with large returns’…Bingo! Now this made sense. So that’s why I am penning down smaller details in my day’s events in my diary.
1.20 PM Thinking deeply I wondered how come there’s so much news everyday. That is so much contrary to my stagnant life. I really admire a journalist and news reporter’s skill to make extraordinary news out of ordinary happenings. He can turn out an ordinary event into a much hype sought propaganda and publicity news. He has a knack of hunting for what people would like to read exactly in the morning newspapers. He sniffs the tang and odour of news with his nose. Nothing interesting can escape from his glance and from the newspaper .The lives of celebs and sport stars, the rumours, the movie reviews, the political clashes…they all make interesting crispy tit-bits along with a cup of strong coffee early in the morning.
This taught me to turn my morbid and melancholic life into something exciting. It only depends on the angle of prospective and thinking. The question is …how?
1.30 PM Enough of paper now! I read my diary entry again. Rubbish! I felt like tearing it all up and throwing into the bin. However I still hung on my resolution.
1.45 PM The story of the murdered lady and her diary kept popping into my mind now.I reviewed if I had any enemies who would want to get over with me. My neighbour—my biggest enemy was a possible threat…but no..she doesn’t have the guts to kill. Then there’s my classmate who always competes with me for grades. Otherwise I am a very generous person with no enemies at all. Actually nobody cared whether I lived or died.
1.50 PM Felt hungry now.I had a chocolate bar slowly for whole 5 minutes.
1.55 PM I finished with the last bit of chocolate just when I was writing this sentence. I wanted to test my culinary skills. Its been years that I cooked.
2.03 PM I went to the refridgerator to check what I could make. There were no eggs to bake a cake. No carrots to make carrot halwa. No milk to prepare kheer. No bread to make sandwich.
2.05 PM I found cucumber. I peeled them sprinkled salt and ate them raw for salad. No cooking pains…no mess in the kitchen…healthy ...fast and simple to make.
2.10 PM I am wondering of what to do next. Something interesting to write in my diary, which would appeal my readers. Though it’s a personal diary and I wouldn’t allow anyone to read it, its not actually personal anymore. I have a hunch someone read my diary secretly 2 years ago. I wrote about my feelings about a silly teenage crush I had those days. I found the diary strewn on the bed and that was when I discovered that somebody sneaked in and read it. I was infuriated. And now I really pity the person reading my diary behind my back. If he would read this one, he would surely yawn 10 times! I don’t like to bore people. I am desperately thinking of the possible interesting things I can do to pep up and jumpstart my day today…something which would appeal my readers incase they read this secretly, without my knowledge.
2.15 PM Its sad that people don’t respect privacy and poke into other’s personal domain. On the other hand our mind and our memory is impregnable and the thoughts and feelings propping up inside there are safe and indecipherable to the outside world. Sometimes really silly and funny thoughts come into my mind and I feel glad that no body can know what’s cooking in it. If somebody had the power to decipher my mind like the cartoon character Jean Grey in X-Men, who is telepathic, they would know what a fool I am and be disgusted at my thoughts.
2.30 PM Now I know why people blog being blogger anonymous. They don’t want their identity to be disclosed and at the same time they want their shoutout space so that they can voice their opinions and record their life. A blog is a chronicle .It would be great to return after 30 years and open the site and go down the memory lane and cherish those good old moments.
2.45 PM I always had controversial ideas about blogs. The whole world has access to it. People come to know about our weak points and start to take advantage of it. Why should we allow anyone to peek through the window into our private lives? I guess its to share feelings with the world and its because people want someone to read their write-ups and comment on them, to know their views and suggestions.
2.50 PM Diaries are so similar to blogs. The only difference is that with diaries you have your privacy guaranteed. But you should keep it out of reach of those sneakers.
3.00 PM I am not sure of what I am thinking and what I am writing in this diary. I am letting my thoughts trail off leading to nowhere. When did all this chain of thoughts start? That’s why I don’t like clairvoyant people, that is, people who can read other’s minds. Now you sure would laugh at my silly and foolish ideas, which have no valid point in them if you read this.
3.15 PM Have to change the refill of the pen. I am running out of patience too.
3.30 PM Am I boring or is it that the day is boring? Or is it both? Or is it something else? If it is then it is what?
3.31 PM 5 hours of the day have been spent and still nothing interesting to write about.
3.32 PM I had a glance at my wrist watch to note down the time for this entry.
3.35 PM Time is very witty. It flows off when I am watching my favourite show. I try to desperately turn back time then and try to hold down every second. But no it’s in a hurry.
And when it’s a holiday like today and I want it to speed off, it comes to a standstill, lazily and every second takes eons to tick. This is theory of relativity by Einstein.
3.40 PM I am listening to the watch as it ticks. Melodious music.
3.45 PM I am still listening to tick-tock sound of the watch. This reminded me of a similar rhythmic sound of the heartbeat.
3.50 PM I counted the number of my heart beats to pass my time.
3.51.30 PM I counted a 35 by now.
3.52 PM My heart rate is 70 per minute. Good that means I am healthy.
3.55 PM I wanted to count my breathing rate too.
4.00 PM I couldn’t breathe properly as I was conscious of it.I quit this idea of counting.
4.05 PM I turned to a new page as that page of the diary was over.
4.07 PM I tore the pages of the diary, crushed them, flipped open the lid of the dustbin, threw them into it.
An Idle mind is a devil’s workshop. I am waiting for my college to start and that would resolve my boredom. Am I boring or is it that the day is boring?
Friday, November 9, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Feeling blue-(Jaane kya chaahe man) from pyar ke side effects.
I was mesmerised and couldn't get enough of this song when I first heard it for it had subtle meaningful lyrics, soothing music , and the pain and the passion in the voice of the singer.
Playing the song in the background on lonely night, I just stare at the dark sky studded with the milky moon and the glistening stars and wait for that special-someone.Time just flows by then!
Anyone else there who likes this song?
I was cleaning my shabby room after lots of pesterings from my mom.I retracted old class albums in the process.Its been years that I've had even a mere glance on them.They were a part of past.Flipping through the photos,and recalling bitter old memories I felt so nostalgic.They were all my friends once.I don't know where they are now,how they are now.
I was surprised I remember all their names...Santhosh,Rachana,Madhuri,Varsha,Tanmay, Athulya....Athulya...that name woke up a sick, strange darkness in me.
We were classmates from U.K.G to class III.I always admired him in class secretly.He always stood first in class and was a favourite among teachers.He was a really cute boy..with a pink face and chubby cheeks.He was a rich kid and half -American- born.He let only 'class A' people in his friends circle and obviously I was'nt a part of it.He rarely looked in my way, let alone talking to me.
My joy knew no bounds when my teacher made him my benchmate in class III.He was sitting to my immediate left!!Oh how I used to love going to school then.There used to be only awkward silence between us.We rarely spoke to each other.I used to feel my heart racing even to ask him if I could borrow from him a pencil.
It was his birthday the other day.He throws up pompous parties on his birthday to which I was never invited.It was break-time and he was distributing party invitations among his close friends.I was lying down on the desk gloomily and wondering of all the possible ways I could impress him and get admission to his 'class A' friends group.Maybe I should buy an expensive b'day gift and win his heart...But what do I give?...he has everything in this whole world.
He came from behind and interrupted my thoughts.
Me:(startled): Yeah. Happy birthday Athulya.
Him:Thank you.Well, here's the invitation for my party.My house address is mentioned in the card.The party is at 5ó clock.I would be glad if you could make it to my party.
Me(with dropped jaw, dilated pupils and stammering):Eh...um.....su-sure.I w-would be r-really h-happy...
He did notice my tension and smiled back at me.The sweetest killer smile any boy could have.Next he distributed toffees in a bowl to the class.He came to me offering chocolates in the bowl.
Him:Which chocolate do you like?This is with nuts and fruit and that's with almond and this's with raisins...
I really had difficulty choosing the right one with so many options available.Seeing me perplexed he picked up a 50-dollar chocolate from his pocket which I guess is a special gift from his grandpa in America.He distributed only 2 -rupee candies to others but gave an American imported chocolate to me!I could see people getting jealous around.I muttered thank you to him.It felt really nice inside that he gave away a special gift to me.And all these years I thought he didn't care about me.He looks at the other way when I look at him as if I did'nt even exist.I thought he would'nt even know my name and he offered to invite to his party to which only his close friends are allowed.I was totally wrong.Maybe even he wanted to befriend me.But I guess neither of us had the guts to break the ice between us.
In the party I had a great time,played many games and ate delicious food.I won in 'paasing the parcel' and got a goody gift in return.We became good friends in the party and from the next day in class we were totally comfortable with each other and clicked on really well.
He used to come to my house too for collecting notes if he was absent to class.And whenever I go to his home he used to teach me a great deal about computer.
That was 11 years ago.My dad got transferred to Bangalore later and I lost contact from him.I don't have his phone number now.And its been too long.I don't think he would even remember my name now.I don't know where he is now.The last time I heard about him was from my old friend that he was preparing for IIT and looking for studying in abroad.I thought of searching for him in orkut but I don't know his full name.I let those memories fade away from my mine too...until I saw that photo album.
I don't know of what importance I hold to him in his life.But to me he is my best friend.I don't care if he doesn't consider me as his friend now or if he does'nt even remember that a girl called Aparna existed and that I was his classmate once.You must have heard of one-way-love.This is one-way-friendship.