Thursday, November 18, 2010

If You Only Knew

She wanted to go home to celebrate her birthday with family. I was adamant that she should celebrate it in the hostel with her friends. With her best friend. Me.

I was confused thinking about the right gift for her from many days. She was my good friend and how could I ever repay her and let her know how special she was to me. Birthdays are the perfect time to express love and friendship and let one know how important that one is.

Greeting card? Chocolates? Trendy anklets? Branded watch? Teddy bear? Plaster of Paris show piece? Parker pen? …………

Finally I zeroed in on chocolates. I bought a gift for her many weeks in advance and waited more than her for her birthday to approach. She has a sweet tooth…just absolutely adores everything sweet and chocolaty! I went to the Forum mall where I know a shop which sells candies, confectionaries and chocolates exclusively. An ultimate place not to be missed by any choco-lover! I selected the best assorted foreign chocolates in all flavours- choco with rum, raisins, almonds, orange, strawberry, melon, tooty-fruity....

Finally it was the day of her birthday. With the gift of chocolate pack, I attended her birthday bash. She was cutting the cake. I went near her expecting I would be the first person to get a bite from her cake as normally best friend gets that chance. I stopped in midway shocked that she was feeding another two girls the first piece of cake. She made a new best friend and completely ignored me which broke my heart! Everyone who thought we were best pals were surprised too and wondered what went wrong between us. I was embarrassed and just fiddled with my cell camera pretending to click photos of them and acted as if I am very cool with this unexpected new development. A shocking twist in the tale it was!

I didn’t feel like staying through the rest of the party. This new development was not sudden, I admit. It was right there in front of my eyes, but I failed to see it would be this harsh on the face. Of late our friendship was going through a rough phase that I should have foreseen it. But completely ignoring me was too inconsiderate and callous on her part. I would have never done that even to my worst of enemies.

The gift of chocolates with its shiny wrapper lay in my hands. Waiting to be given and to be received. I clutched it tight unable to find a way to wade through the crowd and give it to her. She was the cynosure in the party hall, dancing, laughing loud and having the best time in the world with her new friends. That’s right also. It was her birthday and she was supposed to be happy. And I was wrong to take things for granted and not trying hard enough to not let her go. I was wrong to be jealous that she found new friends. Maybe I couldn’t make her happy. Maybe I couldn’t be what she expected from her friend. Maybe…

I called her on her mobile to wish even though I was a few feet away from her. She received it coldly as if I was some stranger. That’s what I am now to her –a no-one, just another random person she came across.I walked out of the party.

I threw the gift on the way into a trash bin. It was useless when she wouldn’t acknowledge with how much love I brought it to her. How unlucky was my gift that it couldn’t accomplish its intended destination!


  1. Dont worry you will surely get friends who care for you, give that friend some time if she really is a good friend she will return to you or she may realise what friendship is in future, just carry on with life and take it as it comes

  2. Is this in continuation with the last post?

    Don't be hurt, it happens... go and talk about it. Friends are lost easily than found. You expect something, let it be known.

  3. I came across your blog by accident and couldn't help reading your blog.I just want to say that it is very nice.Don't regret your past just look forward to your future.
    I have just written a blog, i mean ijust started it so it may not be any good but please check it out at

  4. The most heart breaking part of the story was throwing away the chocolate :( such cruelty ..:P

    Jokes apart, your writing surely has a emotional undertone to it ... It is always hard when the person you expect something from betrays ... even if it might have been caused by ourself ...

  5. Expectation is the root cause of pain !! that is all i could say ... and the bond of friendship is such that strengthens in adversity , try to talk with her.

  6. I can realize how bad would you have felt. But dont worry... you seem to be such a sweet hearted person and am sure a more closer friend is yet to get into your life!

  7. hey,

    The tale takes me somewhere down the memory lane,
    beautifully expressed, the worst pain in your life would be given by your friends(whom you consider as) and not the enemies.

  8. Dont worry girl. We all go through incients which make us quite sad. But believe me, this will make you stronger as a person and you will make many more good friends in future.

    Cheer up and keep writing :)

  9. Hey, Satya here from IndiBlogger meet. Is this you I meet there. If you associate someone you really meet then it helps. So, was looking for your clear image.

  10. Too Sad :(

    I can empathize how your heart must hv become heavy that tym...I can relate

    anyways cheers...I almost imagined your sad face...hey you look good smiling ----------> :):):)

    don't you??

  11. was written in nov..i almost got lost in the flow of your expressive writing n tried to cheer you up...hehe

  12. That happens many times to so many of us.. it probably is a lesson for us to judge people and then make friends.. but life goes on .... bringing with it happy moments too..:) Cheer up:) couldn't say a proper bye to u yesterday... but hope we keep meeting at all the blogger meets...:)

  13. Just came across your blog...
    You really write touching posts.. something that all of us can actually relate to.. Thats a gift that very few people have :)

    Follow me at :

  14. ya know..the best part..
    mobile phone saved your day!!

    "When the world gets in your face..just say...
    Have a nice day..yeah yeah...
    have a nice day"

  15. Dear Aparna,
    We read your poems and liked it. We want to invite you to participate in the poetry contest as a part of women and blogging month.
    Drop us a mail blogjunta(at)gmail(dot)com or visit our site for more details

  16. she would be back, these new friends won't love her the way u did.
    nice post...

    take care


Please be nice :)

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