Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Unsaid Emotions

My blogger friend Anwesh started a beautiful story and left the continuation to reader's own imagination. Here is Aersh's version, who is another of my blogger friend.

Unsaid Emotions

(Anwesh's beginning)

“He who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”


********************************************

The cold current of water sprayed across the rocks and pebbles scattered haphazardly on the waterbed. The water touched those stones and then, brushed past her feet. Her naked feet. She leaned forward and touched the pristine – clear water, and felt it slip through her fingers. The evening was about to set in and there was a strange eerie feeling all around. All she could hear was the silent rapids of the Ganges splattering across.

He sat on a rock, constantly scratching it. Every now and then, he looked up… looked at her. And he would look down, and feel his heart melting and oh! So many things. This was the second week he sat here… just staring at her.

Do I love her… Do I tell her… What do I tell her?

As he scanned through these questions in his head, he saw her get up and come his way. He quickly slid behind the rock, and as usual, prayed and hoped that she didn’t see him. When he opened his eyes, he saw her standing in front of him.

She stared at him through those innocent blue eyes, and said, “You are…?”

“Oh, I am Sahaz”, he said, straightening up.

“I have never seen you here before. Come here often?”

I should have found a better spot to hide.

He scratched his head, looking anywhere but at her.

“Aah, yeah… Lovely spot you know. Water and rocks, and more water and more rocks…”

Damn it, control your stupidity.

“Anyways, am Sahaz.”

She sheepishly smiled and said, “Am Asin.”

Then, she opened her hair, which was so far tied loosely. She straightened them out and then said, “You live close by?”

“Not really. I live in the village behind that hill.” He pointed at a small village on his left side, glad to have an excuse for not looking at her angelic face.

They kept quite for a while. Then she said, “I am getting late. I have to go. I will see you some other time, okay?

”He didn’t hear anything, staring at her kept him too busy.

“Hello?”

“Oh, yeah. Okay, see you later.”

She disarmed a smile at him, “Bye!

*******************************************

“You believe in love?”

“Me? Aah, I don’t know. Maybe…”

He kept staring at her.

“What? What are you staring at?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“You are just making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“You really think I would do that?”

(My continuation from here)

She didn’t answer. She just looked at him and smiled. The very smile he was besotted to.

Does she have any idea how much I love her?

**************************************************

The first rays of the morning sunshine kissed the waves. He was throwing pebbles in the water and waiting for her near the shore.

She is my first love.
But hers?


I won’t be able to live without her.
But she?


Everyday he resolved he would reveal his lovelorn feelings to her. Only he knew how excruciating it was to subside the intense love he had for her.
But he couldn’t gain enough courage. How could he, when he knew it wouldn’t work out? He was plain simple. She, an angelic beauty.

I don’t deserve her at all….look at me! She deserves someone better.

It was six in the morning. Time for her to come. He arranged his ruffled hair looking into his image in the pristine water.

Today is my last chance. It is now or never. I get dumbstruck when I face her. So I penned down all my feelings in a letter. I will give it to her today.

The pebbles he threw striked the surface with a splash, creating waves. He saw the reflection of her approaching him, wavering in the ripples.

“ Hi Sahaz”

“ Hi….umm…your dress…it’s blue. I like blue. Infact I love blue.”

God! Couldn’t I think of a better way of starting the conversation?

“Yeah, the colour of the Ganges.”

Go on, tell her that you love her

“Asin…”

“Yes.."

Silence

(trembling ) “ I …”

(with a raised eyebrow) “You..?”

” I love…”

“ Yes?”

I love you. Don’t you see it in my eyes? Don’t you see my heart throbbing for you?

“I love…I like…”

(getting impatient) “ umm…? “

His legs went numb. He couldn’t get those 3 simple words, which decided his life, out of his mouth.

“I like…I like your dress…blue dress.”

Damn!

“ I know. Thanks.”

Sensing he couldn’t say it out, he thought it was best to give her the love letter. He was about to give the letter….

“So what are your future plans? Hmm… what is that paper? "

“ Oh it’s nothing. What did you say? My future plans? My father has left me the responsibility of looking after our textile shop in my village".

“That’s good”

“I will give you many dresses… free of cost. Just for you.”

“So sweet of you. But I won’t be there to take any.”

“Why? “

“I got admitted in a course in an institute at Delhi”

“What?? So are you leaving the village?”

“Yes. Tonight by bus”

He received the shock of his life.

“Oh! …I ….You…. that’s a really good news!”

“and I …what’s the paper you are fiddling with?”

“Oh, this is…this is…. my wedding invitation.”

I couldn’t think of a better lie.I wanted to appear normal as if it didn’t affect me at all.

“Great! I’m so happy for you. So give it to me”

“Oh, I…well..they are still not printed. This is the draft copy. You won’t be able to attend it anyway. You are going so far.”

“ Yeah. That girl is damn lucky”

“Could be”

“Will you come to the bus stand to see me off?”

How could I bear to see the sight of my beloved parting from me???

Umm…I’m sorry I can’t. I have to look after the shop."

“Okay no problem. I have to go and pack now. Bye. Miss you.”

“Go on. Goodbye.”

Bye forever. I’ll miss you too. You don’t have any idea how much I will.

He crushed the letter, tore it and threw it into the Ganges. The water erased the blue ink, which penned his concealed love and unsaid emotions and washed it away forever.

The bits of his letter got submerged to the depths of the river and disappeared without a trace.

And his hopes too.


She walked away not even glancing back for once. As the distance grew between them, step-by-step, his eyes welled up with tears. All he could see through his hazy eyes were his dreams crashing with broken wings, tumbling down, and her image retreating away.

Story of my life. My love ended even before it could begin.

*********************************


Diary entry

8.30 P.M 20/4/09


I am in the bus to Delhi. It seems I will reach Delhi in 4 hours.My parents and brother came to see me off.

I’ll miss my family.

And the village and the Ganges.

And him.

Yes, him the most. He looked dashing today. Simple but dashing.That’s what I like in him- his simplicity.He’s so down to earth. I was floored by his simplicity and clumsiness, on the very day I caught him behind the rocks. He portrays what he really is. No airs. No feigning attitude. I always admire his behaviour- polite and sweet natured. He’s everything I want my husband to be.

I wanted to propose to him so many times. But I couldn’t gain enough courage. Something would hold me back. I would be disheartened if he would say no. I don’t want to make things awkward between us. So I kept postponing it everytime.

Until today.

Today, I wanted to pour out my feelings, no matter what. Today was a big day for me.I went to the shore-the place we meet often, with novel hopes. And with a courageous heart.

I had so many dreams. Just like the movies-- I would propose to him. He would agree. And we both would move to Delhi. He would find a job there. Everything would be perfect. It would be like a fairytale coming true.

But happy endings happen only in movies. Not in real life. Real life is one big harsh truth.

Those 3 words came till the tip of my tongue. I almost said it. But then he told me about his wedding. It took me a lot of courage to mask my feelings and appear normal. I couldn’t stand there anymore. I wanted to go away from him. I couldn’t bear losing him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to leave him behind and walk away pretending I don’t love him.

Story of my life.My love ended even before it could begin.

****************************************************

“One who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”

25 comments:

  1. amazing story..amazing..this gave me a feel to write a love story which actually i hate to do,so u can gauge what an impact it had...tc..keep writing,I'll keep reading...

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  2. Amazing story... and really amazingly written.

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  3. Standing ovation man... what a story... far better than what i had written... wow...just wow... dis is without any doubt your best work till date. it is extraordinarily great. what a piece man!!! its a master piece...wow!!!!

    Wow... i wish i had more words to describe it... nd thanks for lettin your reader read my story as well. hopefully people will read it!!
    nd once again... WOW!!!!

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  4. It was so sweet and heartbreaking.. I guess that line is true eh? Speak out as soon as you feel it!

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  6. Very well narrated.It only goes to show that if you dont strike while the irons hot you may loose the chance.

    http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/

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  7. I'm not sure if this is your BEST work as yet, but one thing is for sure, your story and Aeresh's story goes hand in hand. Very good. Keep writing... keep being together!!

    Have fun :)

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  8. Hmm, it was good.. not exactly how i would want it to be... but still.. it was good..

    Keep writing :)

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  9. Beautiful.....a stark reality brought to light...happns almost evrywhere.....true love sumhow doesnt find its way across nd most times wen it does it is snubbed..rare nd lucky r da ones who find der soulmates nd r united fr life.

    Wonderful work, Aparna! :)

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  10. hey i said tht just to pull ur leg...really sorry!....have read its nice but bit lengthy...!!:)

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  11. hmmm....I read it before my exams....and I'm really feeling that this post was worth reading and good work again...u r good at writing unfulfilled love stories...my observation

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  12. its a very heart touching story, truly amazing narration

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  13. Beautiful !!!! No offense to Anwesh but there were some discrepencies in his writing. A good beginning none the less but your story was the fruit filling and the icing on the cake...

    Such a sweet and touching story. Its really sad that people just don't find the courage to be themselves to those they care about. It's true, better to have loved and lost, rather than not having loved at all ...

    cheers,
    adisha

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  14. really a thoughtful process....
    completing the same story with different versions...
    read both the versions ....loved anwesh's story more....jus cos it had a happy ending n im a sucker for happy endings...but it was a bit cliched...

    loved your way of narrating the story from the point of view of both the male n female protagonists ....

    "
    The water erased the blue ink, which penned his concealed love and unsaid emotions and washed it away forever.
    "
    great expression...u thought of it while writing the story or thought of it before???

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  15. Nice story, just stumbled upon it :)

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  16. what I liked the most is the way you penned it, I mean, I felt each and every moment of this story as if I had been watching a movie..
    Best part was the description of the arrival of the girl which that guy sees through the ripples of water.. fantabulous, keep writing!! keep it up!!

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  18. hey it was jus awesome..I loved it!!I was actually wondering hw come u get so many comments for almost all ur posts..now I m convinced..keep blogging!!!!

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  19. hey it was jus awesome..I loved it!!I was actually wondering hw come u get so many comments for almost all ur posts..now I m convinced..keep blogging!!

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  20. The diary entry was good, it did a lot for the story. It'd have been really average if you'd left it at the end of the guy's POV. You didn't, and it paid off.

    The language and sentence structures were weak in the beginning, but got better as the story went along, but there were uneven bits there too. Overall, perfectly acceptable, but room for improvement.

    Summing up, I think you did a great job with this. Wouldn't call it your best so far, but this was pretty good, ranks right up there with your best ones.

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  21. Didn't want to comment, but could not stop myself from writing this... "Excellent story yaar !! Mast !"

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  22. I am your fan after reading this and this has to be your best post... Superb! Amazing!

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