Thursday, May 22, 2008

This is where I truly belong!

Its been 2 years since my last visit to B'lore. It has grown prettier and bigger. This is not like the city I lived 8 years ago. It has changed a lot. It seems strange to me. I feel lost here.

Friends have become busy. All the roads, shops, houses I know have all disappeared and replaced by something new.I thought I would be home away from home here. Rather, I feel suffocated and homesick. Living has become expensive. There's a towering hike in the prices. Autowallas charge atleast Rs.30 extra of the prices 8 years ago, for the same distances. The plate of idli costing Rs.10 then became Rs. 15 now. Even my favourite pani puri prices have gome up by Rs.5. People have forgotten their sweet manners.O.k I am generalising this...but my encounter with an auto driver made me misconceptualise that way. The city seems busy and rude. I feel like a fish out of a pond.

Umm.. not that I completely dislike it. I do welcome these changes. After all life can't stay stangnant. After second thoughts, I started appreciating the novelity and modernity of the city. I am actually enjoying my stay here. I've met my friends after a long time but the same familiarity and intimacy returned even after all this empty gap in time. Neither distance nor time could break us apart.

I've been adventurous and explored this city...atleast for some part of jayanagar. The streets have changed a lot. But still that nostalgic feeling lingers over me and grips me when I walk down the sreets. Everything seems vaguely familiar.. yet strange. I have a deja vu feeling that I 've already walked these roads, spoke to the shopkeepers, purchased in the same shop, ate in the same fast food joint, went to the same temple eight years ago...but I am not sure if this is my first encounter or not. I have an illusion of previously experiencing all this.

I almost had to fight back my tears when I had a glimpse at my old home at W.M.S campus at jayanagar. The campus has developed a lot. The kids of my X-neighbours grew older. I smiled at them but realized they don't recognise me anymore when they did'nt return my smiles.New buildings, gardens and more greenery around in the campus. I felt a strong urge to come back here again and claim my home. But it belongs to someone else now.

I played shuttle with my friend . The old times when I used to play badminton everyday without fail, flashed before me. I was hardly able to hit the cock now...I lost touch with the game.I can no longer speak Kannada fluently and back then I could even write in that language. I may not be a part of the city now. I'll be here only for a month.I am just a visitor or a tourist desperately asking the passer-bys directions for destinations. I hate the sick feeling of hesitation and uncomfort when I stay in someone's else home as a guest.

Someday I'll have my own home here.Then I can proudly say I am a Bangalorean. I know after my studies, I'll settle here and live here forever.This is where I truly belong!

Yeah...I'll be back!!..I promise.
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