Speaking Silence

Attempted the TAT prompt at this site. The concept was to write a story using this picture.

****************

There was no sign of her. He searched frantically for her everywhere.

Where could she have possibly gone and why?

And then he found a tear-strewn letter in her room.

Dearest,

I’ve seen you suffer enough. You are not happy with me anymore. I’m an onerous burden on you. You are tolerating me stoically.

I could see your muffled cries and sadness all the while. You thought I was blind to all that? I‘ve only gone dumb, not blind!

I’m not meant for you anymore. You deserve a better girl - someone who can sing duets along with you in a honey-laden voice. I’ve lost melody in my life. Life lost its melody to me.

Don’t look forward to me. I’ll be gone very far by the time you read this.

I want you to stay happy. And just remember that, out there in some corner of this world, a girl will be happy because you are happy.

With hugs and silent love **

He dropped the letter in utter disbelief. His world came to a standstill. His heart refused to pulsate anymore. Pangs of pain throbbed in his temple.

She’s the only one I ever wanted. She’s the reason I live. And she deserted me like this?

Before he knew his eyes welled up with tears and blotched the letter. Tears – droplets of emotion trickling from the vents of soul. A relief to bottled-up pain. So easily that they come, the harder they go. So hard to suppress, so hard to contain.

*********

How he used to love her silky voice- so mellow, soft-pitched and soothing to the ears! They would seldom sleep, whispering mushy, cheesy things and chuckling till late night. And ah! her chuckle – resonating and sugary sweet. They would laugh all day and never answer the calls. They were the inseparable love birds.

*********

That tragic day, where they met with an accident on the way to a trip, is still freshly etched in his innate memory. Not that he wanted to forget it. He wanted to remember it vividly and later levy payback from God.

God! Why did you have to do this to her? I'm grateful we survived the accident. But did you have to claim her voice in return?

The car tipped off the hairpin bend of the hillock. His door broke open and sent him tumbling down for a few feet into the valley. Shock engulfed her, pain radiated eccentrically from her heart, and she let out a screechy wail at the crest of her voice. Blood trickled from her mouth and she fainted.

He caught on to the branch of a tree and survived the accident.

He healed well, but she ruptured her vocal cords irreparably. No hope, the doctors said.

He could never hear her calling out his name anymore. Never could she talk, sing, joke, shout or tease. All that remained was her reverberating silence- a silence so dense that would pierce his ears and made his heart numb.

She would sit on the terrace all day and stare into nothingness, puffy-faced and eyes brimming with silent tears.

She forgot to smile. He forgot to smile.

Sometimes she would loudly squeak out in despair and wail endlessly, cuddling to herself. He would then take her in his arms, caress her tender lips and silence her by kissing them. And then he would look into those piercing eyes, which once sparked a twinkle; now they only bore an expressionless, rigid look of helplessness, pleading him to liberate her from the shackles of her world of spooky, numbing silence and a life so still and stagnant.

There were so many things she wanted to say, so many things he wanted to hear but...

******

I know of all the places where you could have possibly gone and I’ll find you. I’ll never let you go from my life.

The lake was her second home- so serene and pristine. That’s the only place where she could have gone to seek solace. The silence of the still waters and the tranquil peace of the environs reflected her silent soul- unhampered with noise and in sync and tune with eternal cosmic peace.




Yes, there she was. Tapping her feet in the icy cold water, reclining on the wooden footboard and staring into the vitreous blue waters of the lake in utmost harmony.


She heard his footsteps approaching towards her and wondered how he came to know about her whereabouts. He sat beside her and looked into her eyes questioningly.



She took out his pen and wrote an answer on the paper -

I know you long to hear an explanation. I know you pine to hear the words ‘I love you’ from me. I don’t want you to put up with me. You are obviously frustrated with my silence.



Of emotions unsaid.....
Of emptied conversations...
Of thoughts unshared...
Of words uncommunicated....


There’s a huge vacuum tearing us apart. I’m afraid one day, you’ll stop deciphering my silence and leave me. I wanted to end it all before you would.



He was moved with the letter and hugged her tightly, never letting her go.


He looked into her eyes. She looked back into his.


Their eyes connected.


Their hearts communicated.


They didn’t need a language.


Nor any word.


Nor a voice.


Music erupted from the deepest of their hearts.



Melody seemed tangible.



He seemed to convey without words -
“Crazy girl! How foolish of you to think that way! Never ever leave me. The next thing you know, I would do is end my life. You should know I am in intense love with you, no matter what. Don’t you know I love you so....?”



She seemed to say, “I love you too and ....”, and she couldn’t go on further. She was unable to contain how lucky she was to find such a caring soul-mate.


He looked at her passionately and filled his eyes with her image. Blushing, she held her head down.


She was so happy. He was so happy.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart

without saying a word, you can light up the dark

Try as I may I could never explain

what I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know

that you need me...

There's a truth in your eyes

saying you'll never leave me...

The touch of your hand says

you'll catch me whenever I fall..

You say it best...when you say nothing at all.

Creative solutions

Last year, my college organised a rally programme in the town where we had to create awarness among laymen about the safe use of medicines and not to resort to self-medication. We held banners and distributed pamphlets to passer-bys.

I was very angry that people didn't ever care to give a mere glance at the pamphlets and there I was walking the streets in the scorching sun trying to enlighten them about their health and safety. Unbothered they crumbled and crushed the paper and threw it down as soon as I gave them. Worser still, the vendors used them for packing mango pieces, chat and other eatables and some used the pamphelts for fanning away the hot air.

A brainwave hit me- I crumbled a pamphet beforehand and offered it to a man who was approaching. Out of curiosity, he opened the pamphlet and read on. He even praised me and my classmates about the awareness programme.

And from that moment, all of us in the rally , crushed the pamphets before distributing them. It really worked !

Unsaid Emotions

My blogger friend Anwesh started a beautiful story and left the continuation to reader's own imagination. Here is Aersh's version, who is another of my blogger friend.

Unsaid Emotions

(Anwesh's beginning)

“He who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”


********************************************
The cold current of water sprayed across the rocks and pebbles scattered haphazardly on the waterbed. The water touched those stones and then, brushed past her feet. Her naked feet. She leaned forward and touched the pristine – clear water, and felt it slip through her fingers. The evening was about to set in and there was a strange eerie feeling all around. All she could hear was the silent rapids of the Ganges splattering across.

He sat on a rock, constantly scratching it. Every now and then, he looked up… looked at her. And he would look down, and feel his heart melting and oh! So many things. This was the second week he sat here… just staring at her.

Do I love her… Do I tell her… What do I tell her?

As he scanned through these questions in his head, he saw her get up and come his way. He quickly slid behind the rock, and as usual, prayed and hoped that she didn’t see him. When he opened his eyes, he saw her standing in front of him.

She stared at him through those innocent blue eyes, and said, “You are…?”

“Oh, I am Sahaz”, he said, straightening up.

“I have never seen you here before. Come here often?”

I should have found a better spot to hide.

He scratched his head, looking anywhere but at her.

“Aah, yeah… Lovely spot you know. Water and rocks, and more water and more rocks…”

Damn it, control your stupidity.

“Anyways, am Sahaz.”

She sheepishly smiled and said, “Am Asin.”

Then, she opened her hair, which was so far tied loosely. She straightened them out and then said, “You live close by?”

“Not really. I live in the village behind that hill.” He pointed at a small village on his left side, glad to have an excuse for not looking at her angelic face.

They kept quite for a while. Then she said, “I am getting late. I have to go. I will see you some other time, okay?

”He didn’t hear anything, staring at her kept him too busy.

“Hello?”

“Oh, yeah. Okay, see you later.”

She disarmed a smile at him, “Bye!”

*******************************************

“You believe in love?”

“Me? Aah, I don’t know. Maybe…”

He kept staring at her.

“What? What are you staring at?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“You are just making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“You really think I would do that?”

(My continuation from here)

She didn’t answer. She just looked at him and smiled. The very smile he was besotted to.

Does she have any idea how much I love her?

**************************************************

The first rays of the morning sunshine kissed the waves. He was throwing pebbles in the water and waiting for her near the shore.

She is my first love.
But hers?

I won’t be able to live without her.
But she?

Everyday he resolved he would reveal his lovelorn feelings to her. Only he knew how excruciating it was to subside the intense love he had for her.
But he couldn’t gain enough courage. How could he, when he knew it wouldn’t work out? He was plain simple. She, an angelic beauty.

I don’t deserve her at all….look at me! She deserves someone better.

It was six in the morning. Time for her to come. He arranged his ruffled hair looking into his image in the pristine water.

Today is my last chance. It is now or never. I get dumbstruck when I face her. So I penned down all my feelings in a letter. I will give it to her today.

The pebbles he threw striked the surface with a splash, creating waves. He saw the reflection of her approaching him, wavering in the ripples.

“ Hi Sahaz”

“ Hi….umm…your dress…it’s blue. I like blue. Infact I love blue.”

God! Couldn’t I think of a better way of starting the conversation?

“Yeah, the colour of the Ganges.”

Go on, tell her that you love her

“Asin…”

“Yes.."

Silence

(trembling ) “ I …”

(with a raised eyebrow) “You..?”

” I love…”

“ Yes?”

I love you. Don’t you see it in my eyes? Don’t you see my heart throbbing for you?

“I love…I like…”

(getting impatient) “ umm…? “

His legs went numb. He couldn’t get those 3 simple words, which decided his life, out of his mouth.

“I like…I like your dress…blue dress.”

Damn!

“ I know. Thanks.”

Sensing he couldn’t say it out, he thought it was best to give her the love letter. He was about to give the letter….

“So what are your future plans? Hmm… what is that paper? "

“ Oh it’s nothing. What did you say? My future plans? My father has left me the responsibility of looking after our textile shop in my village".

“That’s good”

“I will give you many dresses… free of cost. Just for you.”

“So sweet of you. But I won’t be there to take any.”

“Why? “

“I got admitted in a course in an institute at Delhi”

“What?? So are you leaving the village?”

“Yes. Tonight by bus”

He received the shock of his life.

“Oh! …I ….You…. that’s a really good news!”

“and I …what’s the paper you are fiddling with?”

“Oh, this is…this is…. my wedding invitation.”

I couldn’t think of a better lie.I wanted to appear normal as if it didn’t affect me at all.

“Great! I’m so happy for you. So give it to me”

“Oh, I…well..they are still not printed. This is the draft copy. You won’t be able to attend it anyway. You are going so far.”

“ Yeah. That girl is damn lucky”

“Could be”

“Will you come to the bus stand to see me off?”

How could I bear to see the sight of my beloved parting from me???

Umm…I’m sorry I can’t. I have to look after the shop."

“Okay no problem. I have to go and pack now. Bye. Miss you.”

“Go on. Goodbye.”

Bye forever. I’ll miss you too. You don’t have any idea how much I will.

He crushed the letter, tore it and threw it into the Ganges. The water erased the blue ink, which penned his concealed love and unsaid emotions and washed it away forever.

The bits of his letter got submerged to the depths of the river and disappeared without a trace.
And his hopes too.


She walked away not even glancing back for once. As the distance grew between them, step-by-step, his eyes welled up with tears. All he could see through his hazy eyes were his dreams crashing with broken wings, tumbling down, and her image retreating away.

Story of my life. My love ended even before it could begin.

*********************************


Diary entry

8.30 P.M 20/4/09


I am in the bus to Delhi. It seems I will reach Delhi in 4 hours.My parents and brother came to see me off.

I’ll miss my family.

And the village and the Ganges.

And him.

Yes, him the most. He looked dashing today. Simple but dashing.That’s what I like in him- his simplicity.He’s so down to earth. I was floored by his simplicity and clumsiness, on the very day I caught him behind the rocks. He portrays what he really is. No airs. No feigning attitude. I always admire his behaviour- polite and sweet natured. He’s everything I want my husband to be.

I wanted to propose to him so many times. But I couldn’t gain enough courage. Something would hold me back. I would be disheartened if he would say no. I don’t want to make things awkward between us. So I kept postponing it everytime.

Until today.

Today, I wanted to pour out my feelings, no matter what. Today was a big day for me.I went to the shore-the place we meet often, with novel hopes. And with a courageous heart.

I had so many dreams. Just like the movies-- I would propose to him. He would agree. And we both would move to Delhi. He would find a job there. Everything would be perfect. It would be like a fairytale coming true.

But happy endings happen only in movies. Not in real life. Real life is one big harsh truth.

Those 3 words came till the tip of my tongue. I almost said it. But then he told me about his wedding. It took me a lot of courage to mask my feelings and appear normal. I couldn’t stand there anymore. I wanted to go away from him. I couldn’t bear losing him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to leave him behind and walk away pretending I don’t love him.

Story of my life.My love ended even before it could begin.

****************************************************

“One who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”

Pharma industrial visit

Sumages pharma industrial visit

I went to a pharma industrial trip recently to Sumages Pharma Industry and Chemiloids Laila implex.I had fun with classmates in the trip and learnt about the practical aspects of the equipments we use in drug manufacturing and formulation.

Well during the journey we met with a small accident. The bus collided with a tractor driven by a negligent driver carrying rice husk dust. The dust fell on us through the windows. It was very irritating. For a split second I thought we were all dead. Later I was relieved that it was harmless and nothing much happened to us. We got compenstion for the broken window panes of the bus.


Cutting-edge technology equipments and apparatus were all displayed in the industry. Watching all that was like visualising a scene from a futuristic hollywood movie. Eveything was automated by computers.


Capsule granulating equipment

Some of the equipments were capsule granulating machine, nuclear magnetic resonance equipment, HPLC appratus,titrimeter, friability testing appratus, spectrophotometer,tablet strip packing equipment, tablet coating equipment etc.



Capsule filling and strip packing equipment

The titrimeter, and friability testing apparatus

In the botanical germplasm bank, all herbs and medicinal plants were housed. I've seen rats, and mice in the pharmcology lab being experimented.

It was a great experience. I gained so much information. I hope we go to more such trips.

My terrace

I love my terrace. Whenever I feel sad or happy, I come to the terrace.
I have always been adventurous in finding secret places on the terrace of my home...under the water tank, over the lift room, behind the poles....

Nobody knows these places. No body climbs to the terrace.There are many secret places on my terrace where I can cut off and hide from the rest of the world.

My hide-out: Under the water tank


I find so much serenity and solace here when I'm disturbed.Whether I'm happy, angry or sad, I feel contended staying alone staring the aure sky.


Panoramic view

The sky and the moon always enthrall me. I love sky-watching , counting the stars, bird-watching and observing people who look like ants, from my terrace.



The tower

I find inspiration to write poems and stories here. I love flying kites from my terrace. The panoramic view from the terrace is scenic.I can watch the whole town from here.The BSNL towers are errected on the terrace. I love climbing its poles and sitting on its rungs.

antenna