Unsaid Emotions

My blogger friend Anwesh started a beautiful story and left the continuation to reader's own imagination. Here is Aersh's version, who is another of my blogger friend.

Unsaid Emotions

(Anwesh's beginning)

“He who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”


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The cold current of water sprayed across the rocks and pebbles scattered haphazardly on the waterbed. The water touched those stones and then, brushed past her feet. Her naked feet. She leaned forward and touched the pristine – clear water, and felt it slip through her fingers. The evening was about to set in and there was a strange eerie feeling all around. All she could hear was the silent rapids of the Ganges splattering across.

He sat on a rock, constantly scratching it. Every now and then, he looked up… looked at her. And he would look down, and feel his heart melting and oh! So many things. This was the second week he sat here… just staring at her.

Do I love her… Do I tell her… What do I tell her?

As he scanned through these questions in his head, he saw her get up and come his way. He quickly slid behind the rock, and as usual, prayed and hoped that she didn’t see him. When he opened his eyes, he saw her standing in front of him.

She stared at him through those innocent blue eyes, and said, “You are…?”

“Oh, I am Sahaz”, he said, straightening up.

“I have never seen you here before. Come here often?”

I should have found a better spot to hide.

He scratched his head, looking anywhere but at her.

“Aah, yeah… Lovely spot you know. Water and rocks, and more water and more rocks…”

Damn it, control your stupidity.

“Anyways, am Sahaz.”

She sheepishly smiled and said, “Am Asin.”

Then, she opened her hair, which was so far tied loosely. She straightened them out and then said, “You live close by?”

“Not really. I live in the village behind that hill.” He pointed at a small village on his left side, glad to have an excuse for not looking at her angelic face.

They kept quite for a while. Then she said, “I am getting late. I have to go. I will see you some other time, okay?

”He didn’t hear anything, staring at her kept him too busy.

“Hello?”

“Oh, yeah. Okay, see you later.”

She disarmed a smile at him, “Bye!”

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“You believe in love?”

“Me? Aah, I don’t know. Maybe…”

He kept staring at her.

“What? What are you staring at?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“You are just making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“You really think I would do that?”

(My continuation from here)

She didn’t answer. She just looked at him and smiled. The very smile he was besotted to.

Does she have any idea how much I love her?

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The first rays of the morning sunshine kissed the waves. He was throwing pebbles in the water and waiting for her near the shore.

She is my first love.
But hers?

I won’t be able to live without her.
But she?

Everyday he resolved he would reveal his lovelorn feelings to her. Only he knew how excruciating it was to subside the intense love he had for her.
But he couldn’t gain enough courage. How could he, when he knew it wouldn’t work out? He was plain simple. She, an angelic beauty.

I don’t deserve her at all….look at me! She deserves someone better.

It was six in the morning. Time for her to come. He arranged his ruffled hair looking into his image in the pristine water.

Today is my last chance. It is now or never. I get dumbstruck when I face her. So I penned down all my feelings in a letter. I will give it to her today.

The pebbles he threw striked the surface with a splash, creating waves. He saw the reflection of her approaching him, wavering in the ripples.

“ Hi Sahaz”

“ Hi….umm…your dress…it’s blue. I like blue. Infact I love blue.”

God! Couldn’t I think of a better way of starting the conversation?

“Yeah, the colour of the Ganges.”

Go on, tell her that you love her

“Asin…”

“Yes.."

Silence

(trembling ) “ I …”

(with a raised eyebrow) “You..?”

” I love…”

“ Yes?”

I love you. Don’t you see it in my eyes? Don’t you see my heart throbbing for you?

“I love…I like…”

(getting impatient) “ umm…? “

His legs went numb. He couldn’t get those 3 simple words, which decided his life, out of his mouth.

“I like…I like your dress…blue dress.”

Damn!

“ I know. Thanks.”

Sensing he couldn’t say it out, he thought it was best to give her the love letter. He was about to give the letter….

“So what are your future plans? Hmm… what is that paper? "

“ Oh it’s nothing. What did you say? My future plans? My father has left me the responsibility of looking after our textile shop in my village".

“That’s good”

“I will give you many dresses… free of cost. Just for you.”

“So sweet of you. But I won’t be there to take any.”

“Why? “

“I got admitted in a course in an institute at Delhi”

“What?? So are you leaving the village?”

“Yes. Tonight by bus”

He received the shock of his life.

“Oh! …I ….You…. that’s a really good news!”

“and I …what’s the paper you are fiddling with?”

“Oh, this is…this is…. my wedding invitation.”

I couldn’t think of a better lie.I wanted to appear normal as if it didn’t affect me at all.

“Great! I’m so happy for you. So give it to me”

“Oh, I…well..they are still not printed. This is the draft copy. You won’t be able to attend it anyway. You are going so far.”

“ Yeah. That girl is damn lucky”

“Could be”

“Will you come to the bus stand to see me off?”

How could I bear to see the sight of my beloved parting from me???

Umm…I’m sorry I can’t. I have to look after the shop."

“Okay no problem. I have to go and pack now. Bye. Miss you.”

“Go on. Goodbye.”

Bye forever. I’ll miss you too. You don’t have any idea how much I will.

He crushed the letter, tore it and threw it into the Ganges. The water erased the blue ink, which penned his concealed love and unsaid emotions and washed it away forever.

The bits of his letter got submerged to the depths of the river and disappeared without a trace.
And his hopes too.


She walked away not even glancing back for once. As the distance grew between them, step-by-step, his eyes welled up with tears. All he could see through his hazy eyes were his dreams crashing with broken wings, tumbling down, and her image retreating away.

Story of my life. My love ended even before it could begin.

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Diary entry

8.30 P.M 20/4/09


I am in the bus to Delhi. It seems I will reach Delhi in 4 hours.My parents and brother came to see me off.

I’ll miss my family.

And the village and the Ganges.

And him.

Yes, him the most. He looked dashing today. Simple but dashing.That’s what I like in him- his simplicity.He’s so down to earth. I was floored by his simplicity and clumsiness, on the very day I caught him behind the rocks. He portrays what he really is. No airs. No feigning attitude. I always admire his behaviour- polite and sweet natured. He’s everything I want my husband to be.

I wanted to propose to him so many times. But I couldn’t gain enough courage. Something would hold me back. I would be disheartened if he would say no. I don’t want to make things awkward between us. So I kept postponing it everytime.

Until today.

Today, I wanted to pour out my feelings, no matter what. Today was a big day for me.I went to the shore-the place we meet often, with novel hopes. And with a courageous heart.

I had so many dreams. Just like the movies-- I would propose to him. He would agree. And we both would move to Delhi. He would find a job there. Everything would be perfect. It would be like a fairytale coming true.

But happy endings happen only in movies. Not in real life. Real life is one big harsh truth.

Those 3 words came till the tip of my tongue. I almost said it. But then he told me about his wedding. It took me a lot of courage to mask my feelings and appear normal. I couldn’t stand there anymore. I wanted to go away from him. I couldn’t bear losing him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to leave him behind and walk away pretending I don’t love him.

Story of my life.My love ended even before it could begin.

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“One who never speaks out, never gains, never learns and never loves…”