Friday, May 8, 2009

Turning Over A New Leaf

I sat down on the steps beside the lake, in a hope that the serenity of the nature would bring tranquility and solace to my perturbed mind. As I gingerly dipped my feet into the cool water, many fish surrounded to tickle my feet with their pouting mouths.

I was immersed reminiscing those days.

We were happy together.

Or, atleast, I was.

We made many promises.

Only to be broken later.

He cheated me. He betrayed my love.

As I disembarked the flight from US, my heart raced and my eyes pined for the sight of him. I was disappointed that he didn't turn up at the airport to receive me. I went to his home expectantly. The world spun dizzily as he shut the door on my face. I was devastated to learn that he was committed to some other girl in my absence. He said he was frustrated with the long-distance love. He accused me that I wasn't any near to him and left him alone at the time he needed me.

Our love melted with the miles that stretched to part our hearts. All those days I was away from him, I desperately waited for the moment of reunion and never gave a thought to any other man.
I thought our love was strong enough to endure the separating distance.

I was wrong.

He just didn't love me enough.

How do I tell my parents to stop my engagement with some other man?

I will get married soon against my wishes.

But how could I forget him?

Won't this twinging pain crunching my heart subside?

Interrupting my thoughts, a gust of breeze blew creating whirls in the lake. Leaves from the Maple tree, adjacent to the lake, fell from the twigs and with a ruffling noise, landed on the water.

I watched as a brown-tinted, withered leaf swirled on the water surface and after some time disappeared to the depths of the lake without any trace.
Another tender green leaf floated on the surface creating ripples which emanated from center and along with the water current flowed towards me.

I bent down to take the green leaf from the water. As I stared towards the leaf, holding it by its stalk, my gaze shifted to something moving behind the image of the leaf.

I saw my fiancé coming towards me, with a smiling face from the other end of the lake.

I saw it as a start to many more newer beginnings.

I smiled and waved to him as he sat down beside me.

I held the leaf close to my heart as I talked to him for the first time properly, pushing away my past.

After I got to know him, I realized that he was everything that I wanted my life partner to be.

I treasured the leaf which brought novel hopes into my life, inside the pages of my diary.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Going Under

The wintry breeze gave goosebumps on her pale skin. A morbid aura of pervasive petulance, mingled with the faint fragrance of tender palms, hung in the air giving her a dizzy feeling. The salt laden misty sprinkles from below the sea sprayed on her face. The rocks on the barren cliff were so vitreous that she could see the image of her despondent self reflecting from them.

The environs came to a standstill, frozen in time and space, segregated from the rest of the world- a world where so called happiness lived and lips curved into a smile. Everything was so eerily silent and dead, far removed from serenity. A state of spine-chilling spookiness prevailed scaring her heart thumping audibly in her chest. Her breaths were shallow, and laborious. Her palms felt sweaty. Her legs quivered with uncertainty and frisson. She constantly mangled her fingers with tension. All she could hear was the rickety twitter of the crickets leaping on the barren rocks and the violent roar of the waves splashing against the foothills of the cliff.

The ball of gleaming full moon looked down on her, consoling her heart, heavy with imbued grief. Her angelic white gown swayed in tune with the splashing waves and wavered in rhythm of the flowing breeze. Gloominess was evident everywhere—her white laced gown, her as-pale-as-snow face and the white milky moon competed with each other for the highest intensity of lifeless white.

The cliff adjoining the Bay-of-Bengal was deserted that night or any other night or at any other time of the day as a matter of fact. The cliff was claimed to be one of the most dangerous and precarious suicide spots with slippery pinnacles, steep peaks and lurking ghosts of the grave. The sea beneath contained unfathomable depths and swallowed greedily into its womb, those willing to sacrifice themselves, stiffing them mercilessly in the undulating layers of waves and tossing them sadistically in the escalating and ebbing tides.

She went to the edge of the cliff gingerly and carefully, pulling up her gown. Confusion gripped her mind and made her doubt her every leading step towards the edge. The pebbles underneath her stilettos slipped and she was about to skid off almost into the merciless sea. But she quickly gained control of her balance and sat down on the rock with frantic fright. Her heart pulsated loudly breaking the eerie silence and her heaving breaths dominated the uproar of the waves of the boisterous sea.

Not yet! God, I’m not ready yet! I need time.

It took a lot of convincing of herself to undertake this – sacrificing into the sea. She had a deep inflicted hysteria of vertigo. But she amassed all her courage for that and she was convinced.But not yet. She needed some more time.

She held her hand against her heart to feel the reverberating beats. The diamond ring brushed against her silky laces and rustled. She glimpsed her ring finger and the image of her ring surged her into a maze of retrospective memories of her past filled with love and colour. Life was so beautiful then, as if there were rose-hue tinted shades on her eyes through which she gazed the myriad coloured vibrant world.

“Will you marry me?”

“ Hell ! Ya !!”

And then he slipped the ring on her tender, long fingers. She brought the ring close to her eyes and the sparkle of the ring glistened in her already diamond -studded eyes.

But that was then - another era, and altogether different life and time. Now, all she sees is black - black rose, black rainbow, black sky, black moon, black everything, as if the world is stripped off its pigments of colour. The heavens claimed his life and she was left all by herself battling against life, succumbing to despair and loneliness in this pretty rotten world.

She shivered out of vacillating dilemma over such a bold attempt than out of the bone-biting chill.

The wind played with her cascading tresses. She looked up into the moonlit sky and momentarily saw the image of her departed soul-mate as an angel surrounded by a halo. The vast expanse of the sea spread in front of her and stared back with harsh strangeness.Unknown perils lingered in its depths. The blue sea was unending till her eyes could glance, and at the farthest end, its outline touched the fringe of the horizon and mingled into the sky of the universe as one entity. The mountains of the valley stood majestically around the backdrop, in utter callousness and hostility. The rocks and sand on the cliff resembled the barren land of craters of the moon.

She needed a more convincing reason for her attempt. She thought heaven must be so beautiful that the dead preferred living there to returning to this world. That’s where her lover was gone, probably drinking nectar and dancing with fairies.

Yes, that was a reason enough to be convinced. And she was ready. There were no more apprehensions and regret in her. No more looking back. It was only the vast sea that lay in front of her.
She took a deep breath and sighed. Perhaps she should go down the memory-lane and recollect of whatever faint streaks of colours that was left in her life. She wanted to contemplate, and remember happy moments out of her dusty archives of life chronicles. She tried hard. But all she could see was black. The part of the brain which registered those happy moments became cold and necrotic now. It refused to unlock memories. She rather concentrated on what lay ahead.

She closed her eyes, got up from the rock and went to the farthest end of the cliff. She opened her eyes and looked down. She was not afraid anymore. Now, closing her eyes was no longer necessary. She was brave enough to face it with open eyes.

She bent forward, raised her hand towards her, removed the ring adorning her finger and without any second thoughts, threw it into the open sea. The ring took a long time on its flight down the steep cliff, and disappeared beyond her sight. But she could imagine, the splashy sound as the ring striked the water surface, cut through the waters and got submerged to the profound manifolds of the sea.

That was it. She felt light and free now. She turned back and slowly walked from the edge.
She saw the moon and the stars. They were white.
No more shades of black in her life.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Speaking Silence

Attempted the TAT prompt at this site. The concept was to write a story using this picture.


There was no sign of her. He searched frantically for her everywhere.

Where could she have possibly gone and why?

And then he found a tear-strewn letter in her room.


I’ve seen you suffer enough. You are not happy with me anymore. I’m an onerous burden on you. You are tolerating me stoically.

I could see your muffled cries and sadness all the while. You thought I was blind to all that? I‘ve only gone dumb, not blind!

I’m not meant for you anymore. You deserve a better girl - someone who can sing duets along with you in a honey-laden voice. I’ve lost melody in my life. Life lost its melody to me.

Don’t look forward to me. I’ll be gone very far by the time you read this.

I want you to stay happy. And just remember that, out there in some corner of this world, a girl will be happy because you are happy.

With hugs and silent love **

He dropped the letter in utter disbelief. His world came to a standstill. His heart refused to pulsate anymore. Pangs of pain throbbed in his temple.
She’s the only one I ever wanted. She’s the reason I live. And she deserted me like this?

Before he knew his eyes welled up with tears and blotched the letter. Tears – droplets of emotion trickling from the vents of soul. A relief to bottled-up pain. So easily that they come, the harder they go. So hard to suppress, so hard to contain.

How he used to love her silky voice- so mellow, soft-pitched and soothing to the ears! They would seldom sleep, whispering mushy, cheesy things and chuckling till late night. And ah! her chuckle – resonating and sugary sweet. They would laugh all day and never answer the calls. They were the inseparable love birds.

That tragic day, where they met with an accident on the way to a trip, is still freshly etched in his innate memory. Not that he wanted to forget it. He wanted to remember it vividly and later levy payback from God.

God! Why did you have to do this to her? I'm grateful we survived the accident. But did you have to claim her voice in return?

The car tipped off the hairpin bend of the hillock. His door broke open and sent him tumbling down for a few feet into the valley. Shock engulfed her, pain radiated eccentrically from her heart, and she let out a screechy wail at the crest of her voice. Blood trickled from her mouth and she fainted.

He caught on to the branch of a tree and survived the accident.

He healed well, but she ruptured her vocal cords irreparably. No hope, the doctors said.

He could never hear her calling out his name anymore. Never could she talk, sing, joke, shout or tease. All that remained was her reverberating silence- a silence so dense that would pierce his ears and made his heart numb.

She would sit on the terrace all day and stare into nothingness, puffy-faced and eyes brimming with silent tears.

She forgot to smile. He forgot to smile.

Sometimes she would loudly squeak out in despair and wail endlessly, cuddling to herself. He would then take her in his arms, caress her tender lips and silence her by kissing them. And then he would look into those piercing eyes, which once sparked a twinkle; now they only bore an expressionless, rigid look of helplessness, pleading him to liberate her from the shackles of her world of spooky, numbing silence and a life so still and stagnant.

There were so many things she wanted to say, so many things he wanted to hear but...


I know of all the places where you could have possibly gone and I’ll find you. I’ll never let you go from my life.

The lake was her second home- so serene and pristine. That’s the only place where she could have gone to seek solace. The silence of the still waters and the tranquil peace of the environs reflected her silent soul- unhampered with noise and in sync and tune with eternal cosmic peace.

Yes, there she was. Tapping her feet in the icy cold water, reclining on the wooden footboard and staring into the vitreous blue waters of the lake in utmost harmony.

She heard his footsteps approaching towards her and wondered how he came to know about her whereabouts. He sat beside her and looked into her eyes questioningly.

She took out his pen and wrote an answer on the paper -

I know you long to hear an explanation. I know you pine to hear the words ‘I love you’ from me. I don’t want you to put up with me. You are obviously frustrated with my silence.

Of emotions unsaid.....
Of emptied conversations...
Of thoughts unshared...
Of words uncommunicated....

There’s a huge vacuum tearing us apart. I’m afraid one day, you’ll stop deciphering my silence and leave me. I wanted to end it all before you would.

He was moved with the letter and hugged her tightly, never letting her go.

He looked into her eyes. She looked back into his.

Their eyes connected.

Their hearts communicated.

They didn’t need a language.

Nor any word.

Nor a voice.

Music erupted from the deepest of their hearts.

Melody seemed tangible.

He seemed to convey without words -
“Crazy girl! How foolish of you to think that way! Never ever leave me. The next thing you know, I would do is end my life. You should know I am in intense love with you, no matter what. Don’t you know I love you so....?”

She seemed to say, “I love you too and ....”, and she couldn’t go on further. She was unable to contain how lucky she was to find such a caring soul-mate.

He looked at her passionately and filled his eyes with her image. Blushing, she held her head down.

She was so happy. He was so happy.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
what I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know
that you need me...
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me...
The touch of your hand says
you'll catch me whenever I fall..

You say it best...when you say nothing at all.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Creative solutions

Last year, my college organised a rally programme in the town where we had to create awarness among laymen about the safe use of medicines and not to resort to self-medication. We held banners and distributed pamphlets to passer-bys.

I was very angry that people didn't ever care to give a mere glance at the pamphlets and there I was walking the streets in the scorching sun trying to enlighten them about their health and safety. Unbothered they crumbled and crushed the paper and threw it down as soon as I gave them. Worser still, the vendors used them for packing mango pieces, chat and other eatables and some used the pamphelts for fanning away the hot air.

A brainwave hit me- I crumbled a pamphet beforehand and offered it to a man who was approaching. Out of curiosity, he opened the pamphlet and read on. He even praised me and my classmates about the awareness programme.

And from that moment, all of us in the rally , crushed the pamphets before distributing them. It really worked !
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